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#336617 - 07/23/10 11:32 AM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: kidneythis]
Freya Offline


Registered: 07/23/10
Posts: 4
Loc: MN
Hi. I signed up for this forum today when I saw this feed. When in 73 did the shelter close? I ask because I was there in 73. My grandparents finally rescued my sister and I in October of 73. We were there for 2 months so we must've been "admitted" in August sometime.

Although I don't remember outright physical abuse, I remember emotional and verbal abuse and I also remember being threatened with physical violence. I was only 5 at the time so I'm careful about my memories. The mind of a 5 year old is limitless in it's imagination but there are things I remember distinctly and clearly. My time at that shelter scarred me in many ways. I found some other sites where this is discussion of the abuse as well...
My heart goes out to you and I hope you find peace...


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#336625 - 07/23/10 12:53 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: Freya]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
HI Freya,

You are the first person in years to tell me they knew of the place. The other two disappeared quickly after I started to ask them questions.
The Shelter closed in 1981. By then it was the Essex County Center for Abused and Abandoned Children.

I see you are blocking PM's I should have sent one before I clicked to see when you joined. Can you please PM me and tell me what other sites are discussing the Shelter?



Edited by kidneythis (07/23/10 12:55 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#336626 - 07/23/10 01:10 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: kidneythis]
Freya Offline


Registered: 07/23/10
Posts: 4
Loc: MN
Hi there,

Here is what I found...if the link doesn't work, please let me know...I'm not familiar with this site at all, just found you when googling about the shelter and found this other feed as well...I too have never found anyone who had been there or who even believed me when I spoke of how horrible it was...I was only 5 but I've always known I wasn't crazy or embellishing or making it up...
Here's the link:
http://www.city-data.com/forum/new-jersey/29253-question-about-belleville-2.html
Good luck!!!


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#336630 - 07/23/10 01:29 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: Freya]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
.



Edited by kidneythis (07/31/10 01:44 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#336635 - 07/23/10 02:27 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: kidneythis]
Freya Offline


Registered: 07/23/10
Posts: 4
Loc: MN
Oh sorry about that, it was the first time I ever saw it...I don't know anybody else. My sister and I kept largely to ourselves...until they split us apart, put us in seperate rooms. I saw your picture. Funny thing is, I don't have much recollection of the hospital...I remember driving up to the shelter, I remember the fence. I remember going in and having to see a nurse for some kind of health check up. The nurse was HORRIBLE. My loud, aggressive mother, just sat there quietly with her head bowed as this nurse physically abused my sister and screamed at both of us. I have only a vague recollection of how things looked from the outside but a very vivid of how things looked inside looking out the windows. I suppose that's not to strange. I wished everyday that someone would come rescue us. My grandparents finally did. I know the hospital is still there but what about the shelter itself?? Do you know?


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#336637 - 07/23/10 02:45 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: Freya]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
.



Edited by kidneythis (07/31/10 01:45 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

Top
#336642 - 07/23/10 03:41 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: kidneythis]
Freya Offline


Registered: 07/23/10
Posts: 4
Loc: MN
First, I'm sorry to you too. I have lots of memories...we were definitely placed there. My mother was a practicing alcoholic and much more concerned with keeping her boyfriend than she was taking care of my little sister and I. My father was getting remarried and my step mother told me years later that she had given him an ultimatum, his kids or her, she didn't want a ready made family. I have three children, have struggled financially, you name it but it never occurred to me to abandon my children. I still hurt over that.
But when the state deemed my mother unworthy and my father refused us...the state placed us there.
The very first day, as I said above, we had to have a check up of sorts. My sister was scared because the nurse decided she needed a vaccination and my sister ran for it. The nurse grabbed her by the arm and yanked her back, calling her a brat. She rammed that needle into her. That's when I realized we weren't playing around, this was not going to be a walk in the park. My sister and I had been handed around quite a bit but always to friends who meant well and tried to take good care of us. I had a snoopy with me, I'd had him since birth. They stole him in the middle of the night and laughed at me and teased me the next morning when I cried for him. My sister and I were white and made fun of for that. A little black girl ripped up a bunch of construction paper and put it under my pillow, then told on me and I had to sit in a room for hours getting screamed at and them trying to get me to admit I'd done it. I never did cave. My father brought my sister and I Barbie dolls when he came one time and they were taken from us as soon as he left. They were given to other children and we had to watch them play wtih our dolls. We were told if we ever told our parents, they would kill us. I refused to eat my pea soup one time and I sat at the table all night and much of the next day while other the kids came and went and ate fresh meals, I sat there with my pea soup. I was hit in the head with a hose one time when the staff told us we were going swimming and instead hosed us down like concentration camp victims...I spoke up and told them this is NOT swimming. I hid under the beds all the time and would go pray they couldn't find me...I got sick of getting hit upside the head and made fun of. My little sister jumped off her bed and hit her head, hurting herself badly and they told my parents I had done it to her. Luckily, my mother was well aware of my sisters swan dives off the bed and they weren't allowed to get away with that one although it didn't mean we got out either but they seperated us after that and we weren't even allowed to talk to each other.
Unfortunately, I don't have a computer at home right now, mine crashed so I won't be on at all this weekend (shame on me, I'm at work right now) but I am so sorry for all you went through and I hope you have found some resolution and some peace in your heart. You didn't deserve what was done to you. I wish you tons of comfort!!!!


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#336647 - 07/23/10 04:30 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: Freya]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
.



Edited by kidneythis (07/31/10 01:45 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#336705 - 07/24/10 10:58 AM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: kidneythis]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
the hospital where my wife was abused doesn't exist anymore either. it's not too far from belleville. we weren't even alive in the 60's or 70's though.

_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#336732 - 07/24/10 05:26 PM Re: Were you in Essex County, NJ as a child in 1960's [Re: CruxFidelis]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
.



Edited by kidneythis (07/31/10 01:46 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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