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#318501 - 01/11/10 12:31 PM DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors
oliver Offline


Registered: 12/23/09
Posts: 2
Loc: California, USA
I've been out of work on disability for close to 3 years and was put on disability a little over a year ago. Several months ago I was diagnosed with DID.

Am having a great deal of trouble getting my head around the concept of DID and the idea that it applies to me. However, I am all too aware that it is real and that when I lose time I'm actually quite active and proficient at getting things done that I'm quite simply unable to do when I am "me"

Anyway, my question is, if anyone else reading this might be dealing or have dealt with DID. I find that I am terrified that I might slip away into one of these "aspects"/"alters" and never return. To me, it feels like a sort of temporary death where I am not there. I find myself worrying that I could transition and never return. My therapist assures me that this is rare and that all these 'aspects' are ME, but if I am not there -- it doesn't feel right.

Is there anyone out there who feels this way or has felt this way? and if you do or have, how are you dealing/dealt with this horrible fear?

Oliver


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#318528 - 01/11/10 05:04 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: oliver]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Hi Oliver

There are a bunch of guys here with DID.

DID is different in every person who has it, because it starts in small children as they experience abuse (usually). Each child makes it slightly different from others. Also, there are varying degrees of severity of DID, all the way from mild DID - which is like severe PTSD - to heavy DID - where the person has a bunch of different personalities (or alters).

There are several threads on DID already started here:

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=259161&page=1

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...9090#Post299090

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...3322#Post303322

And I'm sure there are others.

We look forward to your participation here.

Allen


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#318576 - 01/12/10 02:00 AM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
hi

i have it. n thats a good question. i dont know if its rare, but with us, the "original" one is not active anymore. actually he went to "the back" when we were around 5 i think.. so current hosts were not born with the body. it was very shocking to find this, we didn't know. we even found our original name and birthday last year.

from 13 to 15 another one (not the current hosts) was in charge, so yeah .. we've changed for long periods..

when there's too much going on we can switch to the bad crazy ones n that scares me... i'm also afraid we get stuck with them. we ended up in hospital for months when it happened

as allen said it's different for every1 .. n ya, drs have told me all of them are "me" but when you know "you" are not the "original" that's really hard to believe..it's unfair to say the others are part of "me" "me" isnt even .. real? idk its f*up i just dont think about it....guess thats my way of dealing with it... when it gets bad we switch.. thats all

hope we didn't hijack the thread im srry...


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#318655 - 01/12/10 06:37 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I have DID and am doing pretty good. Like they say its diffrent for everyone. I slip away when triggers pop up and am gone until whenever. Longest I know of was 3 months in a row. I still have my wife (don't know how) and kids (my alters play with them). I know it's diffrent for everyone. Been in hospital a lot, ended up in an airport in NY, ended up, .aybe laatter


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#318718 - 01/13/10 02:00 AM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Dude, Thanks for helping us understand you better.

Daniel, Thanks for helping us all by your openness and willingness to bring these things up. It has helped us.

Allen




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#318792 - 01/13/10 07:22 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I never get 2 come out n have fun. That totally suks. Being trapped and caged in the 1st place was bad enpugh and now again. Why don't he let us ouit some. Rules suck. J


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#318900 - 01/14/10 01:41 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Sometimes some of the children don't really come out very often. What is your name?

Allen


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#318914 - 01/14/10 05:54 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I'm Jay and I'm 16. I think D should let me come out whenever I feel like it. The only time I get to come out is to protect his ass and that suck's. If he found out I was out now it'd be another fight. God, boy do I hate him and that idiot Tim. J


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#318926 - 01/14/10 09:26 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Jay

Why does D get to decide so much?

Allen


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#318941 - 01/14/10 11:50 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I don't know, I think we shouls take a vote and let me in charge for once. All he does is be nice to people and let shit happen to us. Who said he could make all the rules. D just hates us all. He don't even know what happens most of the time. He just crawls up inside and hides. Just cuz he was born in the body don't make him incharge.


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#319037 - 01/15/10 09:38 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Jay - are you still there?

Allen




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#319108 - 01/16/10 02:59 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
Yea, I still here. Got busted AGAIN. I'm not supposed to fo this and that no no no balh blah blah, prob gonna get busted for this too. I understand a little but getting sick of this shit. J


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#319143 - 01/16/10 11:52 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
J

How often do you come out?

Allen


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#319191 - 01/17/10 03:33 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I sneak out for 1 to 2 min every now and then and normally don't get busted. When I'm out for a while I get in trouble. I don't know why they won't let me be myself.


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#319229 - 01/17/10 11:44 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Jay

How do you sneak out?

Allen


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#319266 - 01/18/10 11:25 AM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
Can't say cuz then they'll no. But I just sit and when they arn't payin attention, wham,I'm out smile


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#319338 - 01/19/10 12:36 AM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Jay

What kind of memories do you have?

Allen


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#319398 - 01/19/10 01:32 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I guess I'm not as smart as I thought which figures, I've alway's been a fucken looser anyway. D said I can't respond her I have to go to the other fourm, Whatever. I'd still post here but they ganged up on me again and said they'd delete it. I hope they know I can kick all of their asses. Anyway. Their kinda cool about it now I guess, so later when they have time, all about them, the'll let me post it over there. I can still post it here but THEY said it would be unapropriate. Whatever. J


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#319441 - 01/19/10 08:37 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
Well D sdaid I could post it and he wouldn't edit it, he gave me that much. Don't feel like talking anymore for a while. I'll get back to ya. J


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#319447 - 01/19/10 10:02 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
Souldn't have left or leave. I'll still talk, just had to punch a wall. Not a good thing, but got were tearing it down anyway. Nothin broke so cool. It's jusū so hard to deal with, that's all. I'll still be here for now, J


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#319452 - 01/19/10 11:59 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Dude]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Jay

You must feel angry sometimes. I just read your story. You went through a lot. and no I do NOT think you deserved it.

Allen




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#319461 - 01/20/10 03:31 AM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: pufferfish]
Joren Offline


Registered: 09/22/08
Posts: 51
Loc: US
Oliver,

We were diagnosed with DID a few years ago now. The poor financial situation has prevented us from getting the help that we need and so we struggle with it constantly.

Our advice is:
- You must give the others time outside
- You have to work on communication as it's not automatic or easy
- You need to have people around you who at least attempt to
understand what is going on

A therapist we saw while in college (as an adult) referred us to a book by Robert Oxnam. It's called "A Fractured Mind: My Life With Multiple Personality Disorder". Unlike most books, this one is not from a psychiatrist but from another survivor of CSA and is told from the inside. Below is a link (or attempt at one) on amazon.com below - but am not certain it will work.

http://www.amazon.com/Fractured-Mind-Multiple-PersonaIity-Disorder/dp/1401308686/

We're still trying to piece things together for ourselves. It's not easy without a therapist to help but it is possible to make progress. I think for us the ultimate goal is not to "integrate" and become a single person, but rather to learn to cooperate seamlessly.

There is one strength found with DID. Because of the trauma that caused it, people with DID tend to have extremely acute instinct on the trustworthiness of people. We've learned to trust that and it's not failed us yet.

Whatever you do, try not to let it get you down. The realization that hits when an official diagnosis is given is scary. When "I" found out, it was another level of trauma all on it's own. Today, I simply accept these blackout periods and go on with life the best I can.

Hope this helps,
Mike




Edited by Joren (01/20/10 03:31 AM)

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#319523 - 01/20/10 03:19 PM Re: DID Related Question to Fellow Male Survivors [Re: Joren]
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I know your advice wasn't for me, but I like it and think it will help. For atleast me anyway. I try to do that and it's so hard. What's even worse is trying to let everyone have their life as well as run our own. Just wanted to say Thank's, -Donnie
And by the way I have no problem if J talk's, but if he start's violating rules of MS, I will delete or edit his post, but I try to leave him alone and give him some space. -Donnie


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