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#318609 - 01/12/10 10:11 AM Re: Addict... [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
GentleSoul Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 236
Loc: Manhattan
Hi Scott,

Porn is a bane for me too dood. I've heard of success stories from my 12 step group and others here on MS who've installed anti-porn software on their computers. The software blocks certain websites and some actually calls an accountability partner automatically if your fingers slip inadvertantly and you trip into one of the no-fly-zones website. I've even heard of a member doing away with his computer and throwing away all of his porn. Willingness is the key to sobriety. All great accomplishments begin with a choice. Also, recognizing the emotions or patterns that trigger us to act out or in is a great way to break the cycle of us addicts. Take care bud.

((Scott))




Edited by GentleSoul (01/12/10 10:12 AM)
_________________________
I can finally admit I pretend to say and do nice things so people will think I'm a standout guy.

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#318640 - 01/12/10 05:00 PM Re: Addict... [Re: GentleSoul]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
The toughest part about addictions is the biological want vs need.

I had to view the chart about needs for survival - like shelter, food, water and sex/belonging. By viewing this chart I realized alcohol, drugs and porn were not on there. I had to make a choice. This was harder done than said.

I realized what I was "taught" about sex was shame and that became my focus.

NOT sure if this will help.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#318650 - 01/12/10 06:11 PM Re: Addict... [Re: DJsport]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
There are a variety of options in this thread and other places for you to look at Scott, but remember the most important thing: YOU are worth kicking your addiction in the ass. AND, what works for one may not work for another. Consider all the options out there and do what's best for you and what helps you in your healing.

PM me if you want someone to talk to more.

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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#318766 - 01/13/10 01:56 PM Re: Addict... [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Daniel_forgotten
i was letting him win everytime
...
but it was true so i did it n got into rehab

...but i'm beating the son-of.. i try to think about that everytime i feel i will fail

u need to find the reason why u wanna stop...
...
a good reason is that who hurt u is winning when u do shitty stuff


Daniel

So, so true. Thanks for your courage in posting this. What you say here is true.

Allen


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#318768 - 01/13/10 02:05 PM Re: Addict... [Re: GentleSoul]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: GentleSoul
Porn is a bane for me too dood.

...anti-porn software on their computers. The software blocks certain websites and some actually calls an accountability partner automatically if your fingers slip inadvertantly and you trip into one of the no-fly-zones website.
...
Also, recognizing the emotions or patterns that trigger us to act out or in is a great way to break the cycle of us addicts.


Maybe it would help to remember that when you view porn the guys you see are real people like me. I was a victim of kiddie porn at a very young age. I was victimized by being made to be a part of it. It damaged me a whole lot. When you watch it you are being a patron of the stuff that damages other people. Don't watch stuff that would hurt other people.

Allen sick


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#318833 - 01/14/10 12:33 AM Re: Addict... [Re: pufferfish]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1971
Great thread, I have my addictions as well that I'd like to make better.

DJ, you said something that hit me as interesting. That sex/belonging are a basic biological needs (vs. wants). In my life I have created walls to intimacy (both physical and emotional) and as a result I am not really getting my needs met. I then substitute in my addictions and numbing behaviors to take their place. I am actually a very emotional person but my life's reality has destroyed that part of me or at least forced me to repress it for a very long time. I have been holding down the pain with my addictions. For me I need to figure out how to escape my personal trap. For me it seems like it is harder since I have been at it for so long. But I have to try and start somewhere.

Eric


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#318851 - 01/14/10 07:55 AM Re: Addict... [Re: ericc]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Agreed Eric. Right there with ya. I've been numbing/escaping and taking care of my own "needs" since I was 7 or 8 years old. I have never known any other way :-(


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#319027 - 01/15/10 06:40 PM Re: Addict... [Re: JustScott]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1138
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
Heroin addiction is easier to beat in one respect. Distancing oneself from the substance. Sexual addictions are much more difficult to "get away from" because the images/fantasies/thoughts are all in our minds.

We can choose not to "feed" the addiction by looking a porn, etc., but we can always resort to MB with fantasies. The risk is always there, unlike a heroin addict who can stay clean simply by not injecting.

Jim

_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

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#319028 - 01/15/10 06:45 PM Re: Addict... [Re: Jim1961]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1342
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (04/30/13 10:22 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#319030 - 01/15/10 07:44 PM Re: Addict... [Re: Obi]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
I think ultimately the real decider is, does it control you or do you control it?

I my case, the thoughts/fantasies/porn that lead to the the act are not even remotely under my control. :-( The body calls for it's hit and I am powerless to stop it.

I know it's triggered by stress, loneliness, anxiety. Those are the big ones. I'm sure there are more.


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