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#318452 - 01/10/10 09:53 PM Addict...
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Reading and digging has brought up some big things for me.

Such as the fact that Porn and Masturbation have been shown to stimulate the same area of the brain that Heroine does....

So I have already identified the fact that I'm an addict. I'm just completely and utterly stuck and don't know where to go or how to beat this thing... and if it really is as rough as a Heroine addiction..... how can I possibly ever beat this monster?

Anyone have any helpful advice or info? I'm looking all over for help and keep coming up empty.


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#318461 - 01/10/10 11:55 PM Re: Addict... [Re: JustScott]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2439
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother.


Ummm, ah, oh God, just can't pass this up.

Porn & Masturbation stimulate the same part of the brain as Heroine does. and if it's as rough as heroine addiction, that sounds ok.

BUT, so what's left is the porn & Masturbation.

The porn part is easy. close your eyes.

BUT, where to go or how to BEAT this "THING"........you don't know HOW & where?

Well, then the problem is solved.

JUST SOME INNOCENT HUMOR.

Heal well my brother, JustScott, heal well.

Little Pete & big Pete...but 1 (Irishmoose).

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#318489 - 01/11/10 09:46 AM Re: Addict... [Re: petercorbett]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
I suppose my word choice was a bit off there.

As an addict (anyone who has been addicted to anything will agree), just "closing" your eyes isn't going to work. Would be nice if it was that easy.

Hopefully there's some help and advice out there somewhere!


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#318493 - 01/11/10 10:42 AM Re: Addict... [Re: JustScott]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Scott,

Your not alone in your struggle. If I understand the "closing eyes" statement correctly, I had to just close my eyes so, I could not view the porno BUT I also had to listen to soft music or even a meditation CD.

This is a challenge as you know to be completely at peace with. Have you been to Sex Addicts 12 step group? How about attending the at-risk forum here - it is very private?

I am single and gay and know there might be some differences.

You are doing the first step by reaching out.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#318499 - 01/11/10 12:12 PM Re: Addict... [Re: DJsport]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Tried and SLAA group for awhile. Was completely unhelpful for me, and eventually had me triggered so bad that being there was worse than not being there. Only group in my area has more registered offenders than not and some I was ok with as you could tell they were remorseful... but then there were the others...

Been trying to overcome this mess for awhile, but haven't been having any success :-(


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#318507 - 01/11/10 01:05 PM Re: Addict... [Re: JustScott]
GentleSoul Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 236
Loc: Manhattan
Hi Scott,

I'm sorry you're going through some rough times. I'm a sex addict and I know what you're going through. Yeah, I would feel uncomfortable and uneasy if there were a lot of registered offenders in my group - especially the ones who are court ordered and probably unwilling to be there. I have about 90 days of sobriety (woo-hoo and booo-yah!) and attribute this primarily to staying connected with people who care. I've been going to meetings a while now and I've noticed that the members who got their $#|+ together are the ones who keep in contact with other members or their loved ones. For me, staying connected gives me the distraction and positive energy I need from isolating. When I isolate, my mind and my addict get the best of me and I'm totally defenseless. I'm part of several PM Support Groups here at MS and being connected with some great fellas here has been my lifeline. I PM 5 or so members here and we keep replying to each others responses and we keep in contact that way to not only support each other, but to stay connected and keep in touch. I actually have a phone list of members in my Sexual Compulsives Anonymous group here in San Diego but I just feel more comfortable staying connected via PMs. I guess writing and reading a PM is better, and I guess safer, than experiencing those awkward silences I seem to get when I'm on the phone or face to face with someone. If however you have a good friend who you absolutely love calling and talking about anything, a good tool to utilize is 'Bookending'. If I have to go to DMV or visit my 'relatives', I'll call one of my recovery buddies before and after the event to keep me grounded and centered so as to prevent any acting out. Below is a link to some other helpful tools in battling sexual addiction:

http://www.sca-recovery.org/tools.htm

Take care dood.

Hugs,
Jay

_________________________
I can finally admit I pretend to say and do nice things so people will think I'm a standout guy.

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#318508 - 01/11/10 01:24 PM Re: Addict... [Re: GentleSoul]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
These are some good suggestions Jay. Thank you.

Scott, I'm sorry support for you is lacking where you live. This is a hard issue for me too. Accountability is hard and I've unwittingly developed a revulsion to it. It was while I was in an accountability relationship with a friend that I came out of denial about my CSA. It was such a huge shock to me and my accountability partner that it drove a wedge between us and we stopped meeting.

On the flip side, its all too easy for our addictions to make excuses for us not to get help.

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#318510 - 01/11/10 01:49 PM Re: Addict... [Re: Barkabus]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

JustScott;

Love you and I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there... Addiction and co-addiction is a bitch. Being in PA I expect that SLAA is the most predominant 12-step for working on Sex Addiction issues... Take a look and see if SA, SAA, SCA have meetings around you. If you qualify, like I do, al-anon is a great place for my codependency issues, and they lay at the foot of all addiction issues, (work, food, sex).

Rest assured, you don't need to act out or fear the "same areas as heroin" crap. The pleasure centers are the pleasure centers and it matters not how they are activated, when I swing down into depression, sadness, malaise etc... the easiest thing it to activate them and get the temp relief. My shame binds, known and unknown, that drive my codependency drive my acting out in my addictions... I am happy to say that through my recent bout of depression I have not acted out sexually, through work (busy-ness). I have struggled with food and I have had a couple of cigarettes since November.

Lean on whatever supports you can find to build and maintain your sobriety.

Love and all of my best, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#318539 - 01/11/10 07:19 PM Re: Addict... [Re: wes-b]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
SLAA is definitely the main 12-step for these issue in my area. I've searched high and low and the one I found was indeed the only one around. It's about 40 minutes or so from home.

Sadly in the group that was there, I never felt connected with anyone etc. When I stopped going, there wasn't a call or follow-up or anything. Even my T thought that was extremely unusual.

Local support is what I need, just don't know where and how to get it. Not giving up, but just really have no where to turn right now.

I don't act "out" per se. Some would say I act "in". I don't hook up with random people. Sex is filled with too much fear and trepidation. It's hard enough to at times with my wife. My addiction runs strictly (at this point) with porn and such. And actually Fantasy is FAR more prevalent than that.


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#318580 - 01/12/10 02:23 AM Re: Addict... [Re: JustScott]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
im sure i will regret posting this but it might help ya idk.. i am (dr say i should say "was") heroin addict along with other stuff n i realized that shit was my father's doing. i was letting him win everytime i... n i kno that sounds like stupid T words cuz they actually are but it was true so i did it n got into rehab

n yea u cant close yer eyes n pretend its all good it's horrible i cant say how much but i'm beating the son-of.. i try to think about that everytime i feel i will fail

u need to find the reason why u wanna stop... not saying its easier from there, just that u get something to hold u toguether..n i think a good reason is that who hurt u is winning when u do shitty stuff


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