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#318621 - 01/12/10 12:55 PM Re: belonging [Re: J.R.]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
J. R. and others

I too have issues with Chat. At times, I am in a "funk" and need to talk or share with others. When I am in this spot I have gone to the "survivor" room but, NO one comes in. Some will PM and some will not. Since chat is so random and unpredictable and alot just want to shoot the breeze it is tough.

Some believe the HC-Healing Circles are for tougher issues.

Some will have a trusted survivor meet them and "create" a room.

I for one am "available" for chatting of any sort. I and others need to be PM'd or asked to chat.

At times it is ok to just talk in the "lounge" although this can be very scary. Alot need to just "chat" as a way to learn how to interact.

I need to "celebrate" last night and I just started typing.

I wish chat was more clear to use as well. We are individuals.

I have to accept - as much damage as I have endured - this is a website with other survivors on it.

Lets be bold, challenge our "safety net", and create room in chat when we need to.

NOT sure we will get a committment to change anything or have a definite spot "live" to chat except in a HC.

with passion for healing,
DJ-Donnie



Edited by DJsport (01/12/10 01:22 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#318636 - 01/12/10 03:40 PM Re: belonging [Re: DJsport]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
Guys,

Me too. I think you've pretty much said it all.


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#318637 - 01/12/10 03:50 PM Re: belonging [Re: Dewey2k]
GentleSoul Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 237
Loc: Manhattan
Hi Dewey2k,

Welcome to MS!

Your friend,
Jay

_________________________
I can finally admit I pretend to say and do nice things so people will think I'm a standout guy.

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#318639 - 01/12/10 04:22 PM Re: belonging [Re: GentleSoul]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
JLS, and others.

Jay - your funny.

Who is going to reach out and when? It needs to start with me. It is a personal committment. I hope my brothers in healing - YOU will continue to join me.

I can only do for myself and be there for you if you allow it. At the same time, I need to lean on you at times.

This is so hard for any survivor - to be a giver and a taker.

BUT, healing is in the giving and the receiving.

There are judgements being made. It is the internet and mean people exist. It is my belief there are more "nice" guys than bad.

We have all learned "dysfunctional" behavior and to have a functional conversational, I believe we need to be gentle with ourselves and others.

YOU have my committment when I am in chat to at least listen.

Peace,
DJ-Donnie

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#318651 - 01/12/10 06:14 PM Re: belonging [Re: DJsport]
lars3229 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa
I no longer visit chat except for once in awhile, I don't feel welcome there anymore. People I used to talk to there no longer want to talk to me, and if they do want to talk it's just superficial, immature comments at my (or someone else's) expense...

And yeah, the last time I was in chat and saw a conversation that was healing, focused on someone's pain or need or just something other than random chit chat was..... ummmm..... yeah, I can't recall. Sorry, but to those of you having a hard time in chat lately, I understand and sympathize. Perhaps sometime in the future when we go into chat and need the support of our brothers, they will be there, ready, willing to listen and we can in turn offer them the same. One can hope...

_________________________
You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

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#318761 - 01/13/10 12:32 PM Re: belonging [Re: Sans Logos]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
This thread is interesting and is related to just one aspect of this website. In this thread we are expressing some needs that are NOT getting met by some of us. MOST are ok so, take the good and I encourage you too look beyond our ranting and venting.

Others,

This thread is leading me to realize some of us have "specialized needs" and I include myself as I say this. I was welcomed warmly at first. But as soon as personalities don't match and others start talking look out. As with any group there are 'clicks'.

I am not excusing anyone here.

Needing better direction is what I think is needed in chat.

DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#318812 - 01/13/10 10:47 PM Re: belonging [Re: J.R.]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1977
"Most times I feel like such a fraud"

I hate that feeling but relate wholeheartedly. Thing is I want to be genuine and fit in but my past is full of not feeling like I belong or being made to feel there was something wrong with me. Then you add the abuse stuff. I guess you can add me to the list.

Eric


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#318849 - 01/14/10 07:29 AM Re: belonging [Re: ericc]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1397
Loc: kansas
...


Edited by Obi (04/30/13 10:18 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#318852 - 01/14/10 08:29 AM Re: belonging [Re: Obi]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
lars3229 My thought is that you might openly state what it is you are needing or experiencing and I think chat might turn up a compassionate soul. Apparently most of the serious personal stuff that gets talked about there is in private chat between two people.

Thats my take, and ditto Obi I think its just another of the symptoms we have to bear until we find trust again.



Edited by kidneythis (01/14/10 08:30 AM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#318856 - 01/14/10 09:00 AM Re: belonging [Re: kidneythis]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1397
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (04/30/13 10:19 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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