Peace, is the word I had been signing my posts with in the beginning. I have to admit I was doing this in an effort to NOT only wish others peace but also to be able to see the word.
I have been doing "inner child" work for a couple of years. It took me along time to even say Donnie with some assistance of a wonderful man here. When I was able to do this, I saw the hurting - bloody - body Donnie got after the first time with R. I held Donnie as he cried and screamed. I gently stoked his hair and told him I love him. I whispered "your safe and free to play". I said this many times as Donnie needed to grieve. Next to the birth of my son and Daughter these times were the most precious and healing.
Fast forward several weeks to just two days ago.
Well, I have achieved the biggest wave of self-forgivenss/Peace in my last Therapy session. I was raped as 28 at gun point by two guys in a public space. I was ready to face the feelings and the messages with My T. Another wonderful man here assisted me in getting ready. So, I had a T session yesterday.
I started the T session out by asking my T, if she was stop seeing me if I told her what happened. This was a huge issue for me. She said I will never tell you to leave. ***sigh*** I then told her what happened in detail included the "clicks" of the gun and what they said to me. I trust my T with all my heart so, I was ready to really hear her.
She gently said "you had no choice in order to survive", "you did what you had to do" and "it was not your fault". These three statements were said at the right moment. I took several slow deep breaths and listened to her. It was beautiful and so spiritual. I instantly forgave myself and accepted my place in life.
I have done alot of great work but the two pieces of holding Donnie and then forgiving DJ for being there has been inspirational.
I can build now on a great foundation. I LOVE YOU - Donnie.
Edited by DJsport (01/08/10 08:47 AM)
Live to your fullest potential
Never make someone a priority if your only an option