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#31805 - 05/26/02 10:47 PM Re: I love the new NOMSV retreat photo
Anonymous
Unregistered


Actually,this whole thing began in 1958. First time dad & sis left me alone with mom and mom called out for me to come to her bedroom 'cause she'd just taken a shower and needed a fresh towel I returned to my bedroom. Sat there thinking over and over again "What just happened? What just happened?". First time I'd seen a woman totally naked. Mom had big tits,fur-covered crotch. To this day big tits make my dick go limp. Did'nt take long to figure out the scene. I got really pissed at dad for not stopping this.
Dad's tools were old. One day he went to the local Tustin Hardware store.
=====================================
Tustin Hardware - 115 West Main Street: Built circa 1913 by Ed Utt for Alton Alderman and Fred Currier, first owners of the store. Note Italianate cornice lentils and brackets. Present parking lot is site of old Tustin Bank, razed 1963. Tustin Hardware closed in 1998.
========================================
Dad bought himself a brand new hammer. I found the new hammer in dad's workbench drawer. And I took it aways from the house,squatted over it and took the biggest shit imaginable on it. Next day dad asked where his hammer was. I took him to the spot. There lay the hammer covered in a mountain of shit. Well he threw a fit you would'nt believ. Dad died in 1974. The hammer's still in the drawer unused since that day.


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#31806 - 05/27/02 08:11 PM Re: I love the new NOMSV retreat photo
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
"We do crazy things when we're wounded,
we fight like cat and dog"
( Tom Waits )

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#31807 - 05/27/02 09:38 PM Re: I love the new NOMSV retreat photo
Anonymous
Unregistered


I like you,Lloydy. This Place we're in,our experiences they're onionskins. Expression depends on where we've been. I've always liked Readers Digest condensed books. This Time we're caught up within it's chock full of nonsensical pretties. I find myself a stranger here.


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#31808 - 05/28/02 07:15 PM Re: I love the new NOMSV retreat photo
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Tinfoil
I try to suck it all in like a sponge. Places, people, experiences, I look and listen. I read a lot but I have ADD and dyslexia, ( dyscalculus or some crap like that- dyslexia with numbers and learning difficulties ) But a little of what I read sticks. I guess this makes me take notice of what's going on a bit more carefully. And this stuff doesn't make me any less curious and enquiring.
Being like this for so long and only just discovering it has made me feel like a stranger, for 45 years I was told I was stupid by teachers, parents and employers. The only people who appreciated me were my abusers, so I believed it. Now I know different, that's why I feel like a stranger, I'm just catching up with the real world, and meeting other strangers and making friends
Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#31809 - 05/28/02 07:34 PM Re: I love the new NOMSV retreat photo
Anonymous
Unregistered


I think the experience is fairly similar,Lloydy. Cuts thru being gay or straight,nationalities,race,etc. From a kid's perspective it's the Big People making the World work. It's easy to look back on that casting aspersions as to what the kid should've done but did'nt. It's an altogether different thing to be the kid trapped in that situation while it's happening real-time. Our only out is to let them have what they want when we can't avoid it and to avoid it in whichever mannor our little undeveloped minds conceptualize. No apologies needed. There was'nt any other way. It's remarkable we're still alive. Life now to us is measured in small victories. But that's okay.


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