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#318511 - 01/11/10 01:54 PM Re: its over - argh [Re: M3]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
It is a flop. I am not ok with doing it his way. He is not providing me any "hope". He wants me to move in NOW.

Maybe there is too much going on. I recognize my csa and sa issues.

I am not certain of my issues or if our calling it off is my fault or not. I blame myself.

Damn it. This csa - sucks - who will ever understand that I can date. I am a good guy, I think.

My skin is crawling. Why?

Donnie



Edited by DJsport (01/11/10 02:29 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#318517 - 01/11/10 02:41 PM Re: its over - argh [Re: DJsport]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
Your skin is crawling because he is forcing himself on you, Donnie. Stick to your guns, and keep things at your pace. If he can't respect that, then you're right- he isn't the right one for you.

The key is to keep trying, accept that it will take some time, and above all, give yourself a break. You made a great step forward here!


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#318520 - 01/11/10 03:24 PM Re: its over - argh [Re: Dewey2k]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1531
Loc: kansas
.


Edited by Obi (04/30/13 12:13 PM)
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live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#318524 - 01/11/10 04:07 PM Man enough [Re: Obi]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Dewey and OBI - I AM starting to get it. It is so hard emotionally to set my boundaries. I hate the bad feelings.

I made the mistake of going to bed with him. NO others will know I cant perform!!! I still have this nagging thought about NOT being a man.

Argh!!!



Edited by DJsport (01/11/10 04:49 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

Top
#318527 - 01/11/10 04:53 PM Re: Man enough [Re: DJsport]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
Donnie,

Your manhood has nothing to do with what happens in the bedroom. The measure of your manhood is the fact that you are facing these incredibly difficult issues in your life and facing them head-on. The courage you show here demonstrates more than anything else that you are a man... and a powerful man at that.

D2K


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#318620 - 01/12/10 12:48 PM Re: i told - Damn it [Re: M3]
Brett Jay Offline


Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 31
Loc: Minnesota
I have to agree and be supportive by saying don't beat yourself up, relax as much as you can. Whatever it is, it is a relationship and relationships work best when good eperiences are capitalized on and bad experiences are let go. Give him an opportunity to be your friend before you give up on him. In any case, as Michael says, there are lots of great guys out there.


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#318623 - 01/12/10 01:10 PM Holding on to hope [Re: Brett Jay]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Brett, Michael and D2K

There are issues for both of us that get in the way of having fun and enjoying life when sex comes up.

I am not ready or have the time really.

I am 46 and feel at times like time is running out.

"Recovery" is going great. NOTHING can stop me now. BUT, I have to be honest about the PTSD and the issues that are apart of me.

I am in school and proud of myself for that.

I just want to be in love.

Donnie



Edited by DJsport (01/12/10 01:15 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

Top
#318647 - 01/12/10 05:43 PM Re: Holding on to hope [Re: DJsport]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2488
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brothers.

I'm holding on hope, it's the only thing that is left.

I HOPE to be able to understand & care for little Pete.

I HOPE that i live long enough to savior my victory over my abusers. I soon i will be 71 years old. i only have been in recovery for 17 months.I HOPE to be able to become a survivor before i die. Just a few moments of serenity, then i'll be ready to cross over to the other side.

MY brothers, I have HOPE for me. I have HOPE for my fraternal brothers here.

Hang in there you YOUNG fellas, you have a better chance of declaring victory than this old Irishmoose.

Heal well my brothers, heal well & have HOPE.

" I will take this lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunlight, forever into eternity."

Litle Pete & big Pete.. but 1 (Irishmoose).



Edited by petercorbett (01/12/10 06:29 PM)
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#319073 - 01/16/10 09:28 AM Re: Holding on to hope [Re: petercorbett]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
I'm happy to see you setting boundaries and looking after yourself first. Good call on your part!!


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#319236 - 01/18/10 12:26 AM it is over [Re: M3]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
He is offically gone. He called and yelled at me today.

I am in the middle of processing.

So, tired.

Donnie



Edited by DJsport (01/18/10 12:34 AM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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