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#318440 - 01/10/10 06:36 PM Re: Forgiveness... [Re: SamV]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brothers.

Being we are talking about forgiveness, i'll once again post this. it is also in 2 other forums. But just maybe this will be of a help to someone.

Well, today (27 Dec.) at Mass, and being it is the Feast of The Holy Family. Little Pete & big Pete,after considerable soul searching, on this day, and in God's house, and in HIS presence, said the following...........
My Heavenally Father & Mother, from the depths of litle Pete & big Pete's soul WE hereby, in YOUR presence, FORGIVE, our "mom", for the sexual, physical, emotional & mental abuse committed against us.

To, Ralph, the "mom" & "dad", that little Pete had loved for over 55 years, as WE thought that he loved us too, little Pete & big Pete, FORGAVE him for the sexual, emotional & mental abuse against us. In God's house & presence.

To, those strangers, whom worked for the Boston subway system, whom little Pete went with, because he thought they loved us too. We FORGIVE them, for their sexual, emotional & mental abuse against us, in God's house & presence.

Little Pete & big Pete had tears streaking down both cheeks, in God's house & in God's presence.

Rusty tears, that were buried in our very soul for 55 years.

As each day passes little Pete is growing up to become a man, step by step, ever so slowly...in God's presence.

I am 70 years old. but in the Lords prayer it says "forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us".
I never really paid attention to those words...unitl now.

" I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunlight, forever into eternity."

Heal well my fraternal brothers, heal well.

Little Pete & big Pete..but 1 (Irishmoose).





Edited by petercorbett (01/10/10 06:36 PM)
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#318824 - 01/13/10 11:17 PM Re: Forgiveness... [Re: petercorbett]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1977
"once i was able to forgive myself it was MUCH easier to forgive others."

This whole thread has been a good read for me, but I can really relate to the above. I can't forgive myself for so much even though I have worked on sharing the deepest secrets of my life and know none of the bad stuff I would have ever wanted. My T has often asked if I am waiting to be punished and want to be punished. It goes so far back. I have been living a hard life in many ways (okay, certainly many have lived harder but I have had my moments) as a means of punishing myself it seems at times. This is emotionally stirring and makes me think of so much and ask myself how did I get to today. The journey continues.

And Remy, I think the question of forgiveness has to be up to you and on your timetable. Has your brother(s) ever taken any personal responsibility for his actions? I suppose it would be hard to forgive when that is not the case, though even if that is the case it is still up to you.

Eric


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#318969 - 01/15/10 09:45 AM Re: Forgiveness... [Re: ericc]
h.beat,h.break Offline


Registered: 06/05/09
Posts: 124
Loc: New York
My perp, whom my family calls 'my brother', isn't asking for forgiveness, i realize. they are asking me to excuse the piece of $#!+. no healthy mind can totally forget a wound that leaves ugly scars and forgiveness is not excusing the wrongedoer.

i think i'm gonna remember this for a looong time. forgiving him now is like asking me to climb mount everest w/out a guide. i'm not strong enough yet to forgive him and honestly, i don't know if i want to be. i want to stay in rage at him and not have anything to do w/ him... idk. jbh8 said if i'm not going to benefit from telling him i forgive him then what's the point? if i forgave him now, i would get nothing bc i'd still in rage at him. i wouldn't love him and i'd still want him to suffer. idk. it's a process, forgiveness would be. like recovery. this $#!+ is just piling on.

as for my perp, i believe he will show no signs of responsibility for what "he allegedly did" (my mother says). it's no point in going into the psychological effects his teasing had on me, but i guess that was compounded by what he made me do as a child. what i was used to at age 6.

and also, maybe i'm missing this, but i see no need to forgive myself of anything. i did nothing wrong. i am the victim. i did nothing wrong as a child. this is exasperating, but thank you everyone for your responses to such an outrageous idea.

_________________________
Hey, if "black sheep" means you're the only non-douche of the family, take that with some pride.

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