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#315900 - 12/23/09 11:22 AM My son + 2 victims of a woman
wthiwp Offline


Registered: 12/23/09
Posts: 7
I am lost - and scared for them all. They are 14, and as some men have said, "willing" and most likely "thoroughly enjoyed" the experience. This 37 year old married mother of a female classmate 'sexted' them, snuck out at 2am, picked them up, got them drunk and then "taught" them stuff, sneaking them back before 6am- later texting to ask if they enjoyed it and she was willing to teach one on one. I don't care if they were "parties to the incident" 14 year old boys arranging for alcohol and sex with this predator does not reduce her criminality nor make them in any way culpable. But, I don't know if the other parents think that way, and I know the prosecutor doesn't. I had to force the issue for forensic medical exam; I want her hide nailed to the wall. These are boys with no history of any substance use or abuse - with plenty of access in their homes - not even one beer has ever been sneaked...


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#315907 - 12/23/09 11:59 AM Re: My son + 2 victims of a woman [Re: wthiwp]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: wthiwp
I am lost - and scared for them all. They are 14, and as some men have said, "willing" and most likely "thoroughly enjoyed" the experience. This 37 year old married mother of a female classmate 'sexted' them, snuck out at 2am, picked them up, got them drunk and then "taught" them stuff, sneaking them back before 6am- later texting to ask if they enjoyed it and she was willing to teach one on one. I don't care if they were "parties to the incident" 14 year old boys arranging for alcohol and sex with this predator does not reduce her criminality nor make them in any way culpable. But, I don't know if the other parents think that way, and I know the prosecutor doesn't. I had to force the issue for forensic medical exam; I want her hide nailed to the wall. These are boys with no history of any substance use or abuse - with plenty of access in their homes - not even one beer has ever been sneaked...


wthiwp

It sounds like you you need to get your local law enforcement involved.

1. sexting is illegal
2. solicitation of a minor for prurient means is illegal
3. if she touched them sexually then she is on count for aggravated child abuse.
4. she is probably on count for other charges depending on your location.
5. she has probably violated your property rights and is personally responsible for that.

Probably other charges apply. We don't know where you are or what law enforcement you have recourse to. If you are able to, hire a private detective to accumulate some evidence and then bust her.

Also, find a good counselor for your son. You may have to restrict his friendship and exposure to the other 2 boys (if I understood you correctly). If I were in your position as it appears to stand, I would even consider moving my household to get your son into a different environment. Of course I don't know what resources you have available.

If you're in a job that keeps you from being with your son as a mom should be then you need to change your lifestyle. Do you have a responsible father-figure for him? You only have a few more years and they are gone. Again, and I don't really know who you are and I don't really know very much about what's going on in your household, but if you aren't leading a good lifestyle and example in front of your son, then that's really where the battle is lost.

Allen

pufferfish





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#315928 - 12/23/09 01:01 PM Re: My son + 2 victims of a woman [Re: pufferfish]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, wthiwp

I am honored you shared part of what is going on. It is tough to say what to do at this time in detail anyway, BUT there is illegal and emotionally damaging stuff going on for your son.

CALL the police if you have not. Even if there is alot of shame or whatever feelings for you, correct the situation now or your son will have more troubles in life.

He needs to know you love him and will protect him even if someone else has touched him.

Send him a clear and loving message. I wish my mom would have.

DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#315953 - 12/23/09 03:56 PM Re: My son + 2 victims of a woman [Re: DJsport]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Sorry to hear of your situation, the law enforcement community would most likely be quite interested in your son's victimization. Check-out this topic from just yesterday about another "sexting" case in Wisconsin.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...5836#Post315836

Most likely this wasn't this woman's first time, there are likely other victims in your community too. The perpetrator is guilty of multiple charges including contributing to the delinquency of a minor and using a Federally-regulated communications device in the commission of a felony, on top of the sexual abuse of your son and his friends. I would call your local police department and request that a detective specializing in sexual assault come out to take a report. That would be a good first step, a 2nd step would be getting your son into seeing a therapist that specializes in adolescent sexual victimization.

Glad that you found us, glad that we were able to help you too,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#315957 - 12/23/09 04:07 PM Re: My son + 2 victims of a woman [Re: pufferfish]
wthiwp Offline


Registered: 12/23/09
Posts: 7
Thank you - I have included the local law enforcement - we have the benefit/hindrance of being on US native lands which causes 2 potential jurisdictions, tribal or federal. I am doing the best I can, and am definitely there for my son as a mom should be - the decisions in my career are determined by the level of the needs of my family, knowing that a 14 year old is much more in need than a two year old. I am worried about the response of the other parents in that they may criminalize their sons, not the perp. All I can do is be sure my own understands the best he can and make sure he has resources there if he needs them... I would spare no cost of time or money to make sure he is okay... always have.


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#315959 - 12/23/09 04:11 PM Re: My son + 2 victims of a woman [Re: DJsport]
wthiwp Offline


Registered: 12/23/09
Posts: 7
Thank you - I am glad to have found this board. This is one of those things that nobody can understand unless they have experienced it... I am so thankful that somehow I have been blessed with enough self awareness to be cognizant of the position of others, at least enough that I try my best to minimize damage, rather than increase it. It breaks my heart what people can do to those they love... Thanks again -


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#315960 - 12/23/09 04:26 PM Re: My son + 2 victims of a woman [Re: wthiwp]
wthiwp Offline


Registered: 12/23/09
Posts: 7
Thanks to all... I have spent the day researching (I am recovering scientist, we research "real good") and it has been very empowering. I sense that the 'teen boy/older woman' thing will be a booger - but to me, knowledge has often proven very effective. I am now familiar with federal laws, studied some appellate interpretations, and feel that I can effectively argue with the locals that this is going federal and it is going to be strong. I don't see her getting any less than 20 years... and any more than 3 consecutive life terms. Someone mentioned they are probably not the only ones, I really believe that - this is such extreme predatory behavior, not an instance of specific infatuation.

Everyone have a warm and content holiday and coming new year - we are planning the same... this psycho does not control our lives...


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