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#313877 - 12/10/09 01:50 PM listening and letting go
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
I try to help everybody.

My boss recently told me "let go" of that thought. When she stated that I almost started to cry but, I held my composure and took in the message and the relief. I have been processing the messages when my perp raped me and the many messages my stupid family gave me.

To "let go" and relax was a the shit my perp stated - it hurt. As I write this - I am being hit with a very contradictory message. My perp stated "listen to me" and I did and then he hurt me. I didn't want to listen anymore. Another f@#$%^ up message. I want to be heard and so do you.

To let go and relax hurts.

To let go and relax hurts.

To let go and relax hurts.

I can let go and relax - can I please. I have to or I will be fired.

My coworkers and alot of patients love me. I am a gentle man but have a hard time at time with taking on too much and being short.

This is more simple than I allow. I have been having huge releases of grief - accepting that is not my fault. I just need t relax and let go and know I am safe and will not be hurt.

I need to listen and not talk AND know I will not get hurt.

Is this hard for you?

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#313898 - 12/10/09 04:20 PM Re: listening and letting go [Re: DJsport]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
I wanna crawl under a rock.

Is this hard for any of you?

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

Top
#313901 - 12/10/09 05:02 PM Re: listening and letting go [Re: DJsport]
Matt from Oz Offline


Registered: 09/16/09
Posts: 56
Loc: Sydney, Australia
Donnie,

It sounds like you have Social Perfectionism,

As abuse victims, we need to push mountains for others and do things for other people because just being us is perceived by our very selves as not being enough.

I am breaking this down - and as a result some people who hung around for all the good I did for them have now gone wanting.

Donnie, I advise you start doing things that you want to do first and foremost.

If that means things for other people, then great. But moving forward your first thought needs to be - what does Donnie want? what are my needs? And then attend to your needs and happiness first.

This is extremely hard - I have not mastered this by any stretch of the imagination but am working very diligently to get there

_________________________
I have finally revealed to world my 20 year torment from mother-son sexual abuse, and in dire need of fellow people who have endured this horrible experience,

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