About 6 months ago, I was just feeling dead, hollow. I had become aware that, in eliminating the compulsive spending, I was removing my last compulsive/addictive crutch, and that it had been masking the CSA feelings. I'd known that for years, by the way, but just had never been able to put everything together and move beyond it.
But I want to report that, due to several healing forces not the least of which is this site, I experienced just a little touch of joy yesterday. And that I'm grateful for that.
The occasion was, to most, trivial: I picked up a book I had ordered at the library. And I was just so grateful for the library, for the people that work there, that it was open late, that it was right next door to my favorite coffee shop, that I felt like saying: "thanks so much for being here!". I didn't (but I did share that with my wife, who found it amusing).
There is a bit more to this -- As a boy, I read a lot. I mean, alot. I was ridiculed for it, from time to time, but in general it was a positive and I was actually a bit proud of it. And going to the library was one of those things that was always warm and exciting: so many books! It's one of my best childhood memories.
As an adult, I'm generally too busy to use the library. I'd just as soon buy a book from Amazon, but due to the spending issues (see above) that's not typically an option anymore -- my house is full of junk I've bought on whim, and I'm trying not to do that. So I got a library card recently, and the little boy is pretty excited about this. And last night, it was just so cool to show up and pick up that book. (My library lets me request stuff, even inter-library stuff, online, which is quite a step from what I remember as a kid.)
Anyway -- are there any especially joyful experiences that you have had recently? Or any childhood interests that have recently been re-awakened for you?
Edited by Tim1962 (12/09/09 03:23 PM)