Hello,

My name is paul. I am a survivor of childhood abuse.

A couple of friends of mine and I would like to start a Men's Group of survivors in the Tacoma/Puyallup area.

We have a ways to go before it is up and running. Right now we need to know what kind of interest there would be. At present we are thinking that this would be a closed meeting and only Men who have been abused may attend. We are only having men right now and depending on the group conscience, we may later open it up to Women survivors.

We accept any man who has been abused as a child and NO abusers allowed.

Please reply to this message and I will keep you posted of our progress.

good idea paul ..... on second thought, great idea paul !

also, people who are interested can private message paul if they want to maintain their geographical anonymity.

good luck with this,

ron

Paul,

Best of luck. We started our group up last January here in the NJ/PA area and it's going well. Let me know if you have any questions......

Chris

Yes Chris, I do have some questions.
What is your format like?
Do you use the 12 Steps of AA?
Do you use a particular book as a guide?

Thanks,
paul

Paul,

Our group consists of guys that have attended at least one WoR and we base the things/format on that environment and setting. We don't follow the 12 steps or refer to a written guide line, but I'm sure that can work as well. A couple of the guys in our group have attended AA at somepoint....not sure if they do still on a regular basis.

Initially one of our members who was a facilitator on the WoR's sent out an email to attendees that lived within a two hour drive of our area to see if any would be interested....this is how we were formed. One of the requirements for us is that you have attended a workshop....that way we have a foundation and an understanding of how we're going to work. It makes things easier also if members are also in therapy on a reasonble basis, because we aren't going to be able to commit the energy and time to someone who really is in a different place. Attending a WoR shows that you're of the mindset that you will be working towards your recovery. Not sure if I've made sense with this part....but this is the idea with us.
This being said, having a guideline and following it initially is good. You may adjust this at some point or not, but it will all be up to the group members.
Safety is a priority, as well as keeping personal info that's shared within the group, IN the group. If you can get a counselor that has experince with our type of abuse that would be great....they could help in the direction of the meetings and such. If not, one of you could volunteer for each meeting.

We do a check-in, where each attendee gets to speak about how they're feeling and such...with no interuptions until they're finished....maybe 3-5 min. Then things can open up based on the check in or if someone has an issue about something. It's all about feeling comfortable and learning to trust one another. Our sessions are 2hrs...and we do check out at the end.....then we go eat! This is an important part of our meeting as we get to relax and just hang out....it works for us seeing as we all drive and hour and a half or more to attend.

It's been almost a year for us....we've had rough spots and some really good ones too. I'm commited. And I actually had the pleasure of attending a group up in Toronto....met a few of them at a WoR as well.

Hope this helps.....

I will assume you've checked out Ken Followell's stuff about starting a group? He's a wealth of info as well. He is based out of Tampa and heads a group there as well.

Best of luck,
Chris

These are all ideas I have come across and they are great ideas. Thanks,

paul