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#313381 - 12/07/09 03:40 PM competition and relationships
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
One of the messed up concepts my perp engrained in me was competition and related it to how I related to others. As a kid this was devasting. My family all had this kinda of "hold the kid" behavior. It was a game.

Today it is still devasting. I always relent and stay isolated and but i am trying to get out.

I hated sports. I never dated in HS. I was home taking care of the big ones.

Anyone experience this? How do you deal with it?

DJ



Edited by DJsport (12/07/09 03:42 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#313434 - 12/07/09 09:58 PM Re: competition and relationships [Re: DJsport]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
I hope I am not the only one who experienced this.

frown

DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#313440 - 12/07/09 10:30 PM Re: competition and relationships [Re: DJsport]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
Hi DJ,

I am not real sure what you were experiencing about competition. Would you mind explaining what was going on in a bit more detail as I would like to respond to you. Iknow that I hate competition and would like to talk more to you about it


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#313441 - 12/07/09 10:35 PM Re: competition and relationships [Re: Barney]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Ron,

The competition for affection. Being held back by others in my life both phyically and emotionally as a kid, I never experienced the fights and joy of playing.

The tug of war or the flirting and being disappointed.

The gossip stuff. I learned more hatred instead of the healthy interactions.

Those things.

DJ



Edited by DJsport (12/07/09 10:42 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

Top
#313444 - 12/07/09 10:43 PM Re: competition and relationships [Re: DJsport]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
omg it sounds like you never really got to bond with your parents. That you were kind of bounced around from pillar to post, never feeling secure at all that you were loved and most importantly, accepted.

Is this true or am i missing something?


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#313462 - 12/07/09 11:29 PM Re: competition and relationships [Re: Barney]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
I bonded with my parents. I had a dad in the military and we moved alot. Yes, I was bounced around.

interesting u say this

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

Top
#313465 - 12/07/09 11:45 PM Re: competition and relationships [Re: DJsport]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
moving alot is tuff on any kid. It feels like your early childhood waas a bit chaotic. Where was the permanence? What was predictable in your chidhood?


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#313477 - 12/07/09 11:57 PM Re: competition and relationships [Re: Barney]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
I was cared for and loved. My dad had a wonderful secure job. I was always clean and loved.

No permanence.

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#313528 - 12/08/09 07:39 AM Re: competition and relationships [Re: DJsport]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
I appreciate this deep examination and exploration into my life. It allowed me to realize I had a better upbringing and a good pair of parents.

What have others experienced here?

DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#313535 - 12/08/09 08:42 AM Re: competition and relationships [Re: DJsport]
Scotty123 Offline


Registered: 12/07/09
Posts: 51
,


Edited by Scotty123 (01/08/13 06:09 AM)

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#313544 - 12/08/09 09:54 AM Re: competition and relationships [Re: Scotty123]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Originally Posted By: Scotty123
My experience was living in 36 differnt houses 8 schools in 3 countries.

Getting belted near every day with a leather belt right up till left home at 16 yo and I can never recall once being cuddled.


Oh wow, seems like you're talking about my life.

I also hate competition, the feeling that my father drummed into my head that if I don't win, if I don't do it right, if I fail I'm useless and unworthy of anything.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#313681 - 12/09/09 08:03 AM Re: competition and relationships [Re: user2007]
Scotty123 Offline


Registered: 12/07/09
Posts: 51
.


Edited by Scotty123 (01/08/13 06:09 AM)

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