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#313052 - 12/05/09 11:43 AM Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation
westsidej Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/09
Posts: 150
Loc: Minnesota
Greetings group. What a great website! I'm a new member and hope that I can find some help here and so far, so good.

Okay, I was raped and molested repeatedly by men during my early adolescence/teen years. It lasted so long with one "family friend" that I became pretty much addicted to oral sex, mainly giving, with men as he taught me to be very very good at it and always please him to completion.

Then as I grew older, I started having sex with women as well but the urge to be oral with men never went away.

It got the point, and to this day, that I prefer oral sex from a guy rather than from a girl due to all of my early experiences giving and receiving oral sex from males.

Then, several years ago, I started having erection difficulty with women as homosexual thoughts crept into my mind before or during sex. This never happens when I think about or had sex with men.

Is this common? Are there any ideas on how to deal with and either accept or suppress these feelings so I can have a healthy sex life with women as well?

I don't care about the homosexual urges, I just want to have those same urges consistently with women as well since I love having sex with women.

Thank you for the help and have a great holiday season.




Edited by westsidej (12/05/09 11:44 AM)
_________________________
My CSA story TRIGGERS!!!!

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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#313095 - 12/05/09 04:46 PM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: westsidej]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
This topic has been discussed from time to time here in this forum, perhaps you might read through the forum history for the answer that you are looking for. Depending on your age, weight, and blood pressure, I recommend Cialis for those times when our equipment doesn't seem to be working the way that we are accustomed to.

Welcome to MS, glad that you found us, hope that we can be of some help in your recovery too.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#313115 - 12/05/09 08:17 PM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: Trucker51]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
J:

Look at the top of this page, where it says "My stuff". If there is a flashing envelope, you have mail! Click on it.

Cheers!

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#313134 - 12/05/09 11:18 PM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: Geeders]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 820
Loc: Ohio
I am working through that right now. In my case there are problems with us both. The CSA will mess with your head. In my case, I think we both need a little (OK, a lot) patience and caring. I also have med issues since I am 42 and taking blood pressure meds and straterra for ADHD. Its difficult because I am definitely wanting sex but either nothing happens or it happens and in the middle of things I spring a leak.

_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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#313964 - 12/11/09 02:40 AM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: catfish86]
ChicagoSurvivor Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 17
I have this same situation and would appreciate any guidance as well. In my circumstance, it's not abour oral. It's about comparing size. I always want to be larger and I feel disappointed or "less manly" if on occassion I am not as large as the person I am comparing myself to. It's very strange and very confusing. I do feel guilty about my fixation with penis and penis size that it often affects me with my wife (the guilt and shame). Any guidance would be really helpful. Welcome to this site Westsidej. It's a blessing we have this forum!


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#314033 - 12/11/09 04:18 PM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: ChicagoSurvivor]
AndyS87 Offline


Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 302
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
Chicago, I get that every now n then too. When I was a kid and my cousin used to whip it out, his looked so much bigger than mine that as I got older, even after everything stopped happening, everything sexual in my mind was based on my phsyical appearance and the size of my penis. The fact that I'm not hung like lexington steele and don't have the body of fitness celebrity Jon Basedow used to drive me crazy, but oh well. Over time I've gotten more comfortable in my own skin.


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#314240 - 12/13/09 10:40 AM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: ChicagoSurvivor]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Chicago:

Years ago, and I do mean years ago, I recall reading something similar in the Playboy Advisor. (See? I DID read the articles!) grin

The writer was concerned about the size of his erect penis and wondered if he was "normal". The Advisor responded by reciting a story about Abraham Lincoln. Due to his stature, someone once asked him how long a man's legs should be. Apparently Lincoln responded by saying a man's legs should be just long enough to reach the ground. wink

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#314393 - 12/14/09 01:35 AM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: Geeders]
LilacLouie Offline


Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 359
Loc: Utah
I wish I had more erections.


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#315059 - 12/18/09 12:40 PM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: LilacLouie]
westsidej Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/09
Posts: 150
Loc: Minnesota
Thanks for the replies.

Erections thinking about guys isn't the problem, it's when I want hetero sex that issues sometimes come up.

Happy Holidays everyone.

_________________________
My CSA story TRIGGERS!!!!

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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#316635 - 12/28/09 08:57 AM Re: Erection problems w/ hetero due to molestation [Re: westsidej]
Scotty123 Offline


Registered: 12/07/09
Posts: 51
.


Edited by Scotty123 (01/08/13 05:47 AM)

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#316755 - 12/29/09 02:06 AM Re: [Re: Scotty123]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
.




Edited by Freedom49 (05/21/10 05:27 PM)

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