Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
iwishicared (41), Scott Oliver (53), TutDaVinci (32)
Who's Online
5 registered (lapchinj, pufferfish, 3 invisible), 25 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63366 Topics
443089 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#31291 - 03/06/04 07:05 PM Recurring dream vs. memory, trigger
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I only have a few moments here right now, then will be back later to respond to posts and such. But I have had this dream, same dream, for several days now, and it is rather disturbing to me, because I do not know if it is memory presented as a dream or if it is just some sick dream in my head. I was thinking that if I post of it here, maybe it will be less stress to me, I will have 'got it out' so to speak, and maybe then it will not bother me so much. I tried to call my mom the day after the first time I had it, to ask her if it was soemthing real, but she was in a bad mood from work, so I felt it not best to bring it up with her then.

TRIGGER

In the dream, I am a young child, like 3 or 4 years old, because my brother was still alive. And it seemed such enough a normal thing in the dream, my father is angry with us, and yelling and screaming, and my brother and I are sitting together in the corner. And then my father, he grabs our pet cat and strangles it in front of us, yelling at us that he is God, he is in charge of who lives and dies, and I remember in the dream just holding onto my brother and crying as he starts hitting at us.

I don't remember, in memory, my father ever saying such thing, although I could imagine him to do it. I do not remember ever having a pet, although for many years I even blocked out memory of my brother, who died when I was just over four years old. I do not know why this bothers me so much, as I already have the fear of my father, and the bad memories of him, and such. But, this bothers me, maybe because for some while, he DID have control over life and death in our house, and proved it. I have not called my mom again to ask her of this. I think in one way, I do not want to know what is true, because then I can have my doubts of it. I'm not sure. Anyway, I need to go for few hours, thank you for anyone who reads this.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

Top
#31292 - 03/06/04 08:56 PM Re: Recurring dream vs. memory, trigger
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
((((((((Leosha))))))))

That is a terrible dream to have, especially over and over. I hope that it will fade now that you have posted it.

If it is a true memory or not, it does show what kind of role your father was playing in your life.

It is not just a sick dream at all. It tells of something that is true. Maybe not a literally true historical fact of what happened, but it does tell of how you saw your father.

Peace,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

Top
#31293 - 03/07/04 03:35 AM Re: Recurring dream vs. memory, trigger
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Thank you Joe. Of course, now I am afraid to even go to sleep. At least here I can be productive while I'm awake.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

Top
#31294 - 03/07/04 08:04 AM Re: Recurring dream vs. memory, trigger
theo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1117
leosha,
i am sorry for your dream. i cannot reply to it right now for reasons i think you understand. otherwise, i am here for you, leo.

_________________________
journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

Top
#31295 - 03/07/04 12:39 PM Re: Recurring dream vs. memory, trigger
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Leosha,

I am sorry that you are having such a painful and distressing dream. It is no wonder that you are having such trouble sleeping.

I couldn't hazard to guess wether this is fact or just a recreation of the memories and feelings of your father. But, I do agree with Joe on it being the role your father played in your life and that it accurately portrays your feelings towards that man.

Take care,
Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.