Family members that sexually abuse their children must be aware of the trauma they are inflicting.

WHY do they still do it ??????!!!!!!!

Once my father tried to explain it. He said, "Its just sex". I sense that the perpetrators convince themselves that it is not a big deal so they can live with their actions.

At one point he said, "We have to stop doing this. It is wrong" Like I was a willing participant!! Of course it did not stop, even after I was 24 years old he walked into the apartment that I shared with my wife, burst into the bathroom (where by the unluckiest of coincidences I was masturbating at the moment) and proceeded to whip his cock out after grabbing mine..and demand I suck it. I said, "I don't do that anymore, I only do women"(I was never gay but said that trying to appease him). He kept saying c'mon just suck it c'monnnn. For the first time, I protested vocally but he would NOT STOP ASKING.

How could he want to do this!? It had been 2 years since the last time it happened and I thought he had decided it was a "bad thing" and stopped upon his own accord. FUCK!!! I succumbed to his pressures and put it in my mouth, It tasted like I remembered and the wave of water crashed over me again. The familiar attempt that my brain made to black out failed as before, my consciousness holding on at the last minute. WHY? !!!

DEAR GOD WHY!!!??

HE HAD TIME TO REFLECT AND REGRET!!

WHY ??? oh GOD why Jesus

I can't even drive in my car without it flooding in. WHY ??!!!

I also will probably delete all my posts soon since I have to be drunk to write these things and I regret it afterwards.