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#311530 - 11/23/09 04:40 PM Working on understanding my sexual nature
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 862
Loc: washington
It is no secret...

I have been all over the place with my sexual orientation...(I have no deletions here)...and would like to share this process of discovery that has changed my personal truth.

Unfortunately...as much as I try to deny a vast majority of societies negative influences on this subject...I cannot truthfully say...that this hasn't severely confused my position...(denial)

Looking back...I have read books so complex on this subject... I would need a doctorate...to even enderstand the material.

I have found it difficult to look back...before the time in which the dissconnect to my sexuality was altered.

It is like...trying to figure out...which came first the chicken or the egg...at the same time...when the fox is in the henhouse.

Anywho...Here I am in the process of reading an easier book that introduces the notion of discovery verses choosing.

Mixing in the discussion of nature versus nurture.

I have always tried to go through one door or the other.

I am personally starting to think that perhaps...I found my nature through nurture.

I am not trying to make this work for anybody else...but this makes perfect sense to me...more than anything else...that I have ever found on the subject...


Signs (Tesla)

island



_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#311678 - 11/25/09 01:50 AM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: 1islandboy]
AndyS87 Offline


Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 303
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
hey, with something this complex, I think resonance is a personal sign that you are where you need to be. If the shoe fits, wear it. We all know how complicated and clouded sexuality can become when your very sexual nature is prematurely tampered with. What's important is that you are happy and truly fulfilled.


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#311779 - 11/25/09 08:18 PM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: AndyS87]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 862
Loc: washington
Thank you for the feedback Andy...

I feel that I am moving toward comprehending the word serenity and knowing peace...it has been a long road...


Magic Power (Triumph)

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#311793 - 11/25/09 09:22 PM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: 1islandboy]
ShaunPTP Offline


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3
Loc: Washington
Hi island,
What book are you reading? Sounds good.

Take care
Shaun


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#311797 - 11/25/09 09:46 PM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: 1islandboy]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: 1islandboy
...as much as I try to deny a vast majority of societies negative influences on this subject...I cannot truthfully say...that this hasn't severely confused my position...(denial)


I feel for your struggle. In so many ways we have to not only recover from sexual abuse in the physical sense, but our recovery process is in direct opposition to society's conflict over sex in general. What a battle! Where are the Nobel Peace Prizes for us? We are fallout examples from a culture that does not embrace sex - in my view.

_________________________
Jeff

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#311826 - 11/26/09 04:19 AM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: westchesterguy]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 862
Loc: washington
Shaun,

The book that I am refering to is called..."Male Victims of Same-Sex Abuse"...by John M.Preble and A. Nicholas Groth

Jeff,

I am not quite sure...if you could tell from this single post...that what I was talking about here was bisexuality...but I am still definitely in agreement that society as a whole has several unhealthy views on many different levels concerning sexuality...which I believe...a vast majority to be fear ~or~ shame based...

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#311832 - 11/26/09 07:27 AM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: 1islandboy]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: 1islandboy
The book that I am refering to is called..."Male Victims of Same-Sex Abuse"...by John M.Preble and A. Nicholas Groth


I'm not one to buy into the labels someone, somehow defined as straight, bi, tri, quad whatever flavor of the month meant to confuse everyone. We are just men in my view.

I did smile to read your book title and the authors. John is one of my heroes dating back to 1988. :-) You have an excellent read there!

_________________________
Jeff

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#311838 - 11/26/09 08:47 AM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: westchesterguy]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
And Nick Groth is one of the pioneers of treating sexual abusers going back to the 1970s, though he hasn't done anything to my knowledge in a number of years besides co-write this volume about 10 yrs ago.


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#311853 - 11/26/09 12:03 PM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: westchesterguy]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
this is one book that IMO needs to be on the bookshelf of anyone who has formed an opinion on the topic of sexuality other than objective neutrality ....... it puts a period at the end of the sexuality/gender 'sentence'. cool

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#312711 - 12/02/09 07:47 PM Re: Working on understanding my sexual nature [Re: Sans Logos]
catfish86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 821
Loc: Ohio
I know in my own struggles, I had to really deal with the Christian ideals and preconceptions of right and wrong. One thing was clear to me, I get excited seeing a cute guy. Eventually I figured out that I had to accept that part of me and accept God's love for me regardless of that part of me or what men who supposedly follow Him believe. I understand for others, the best thing is to chuck the whole God thing in the lake, but that is not an option in my frame.

I know one thing I have realized, people that think of a person's "sexuality" as gay or straight with a few on the fence and that is ridiculously naive and oversimplified. Even one guy I was confiding in in college claimed to be straight as a board but admitted checking other guys out and sometimes wondering. I think most people are at least a little bi with a stronger preference that dominates.

For one thing my abuse has taught me, if you pull the trigger on a drill, it spins. The equipment will mostly work with anything. If you put a blindfold on most people and they are stimulated by someone of the sex they are supposedly not attracted to, their equipment will respond.



Edited by catfish86 (12/02/09 07:51 PM)
_________________________
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

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