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#311386 - 11/22/09 10:37 AM A Poor Attempt At Poetry
jbh8 Offline

Registered: 10/29/09
Posts: 94

Edited by jbh8 (02/20/13 04:04 PM)

#311392 - 11/22/09 12:23 PM Re: A Poor Attempt At Poetry [Re: jbh8]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Not a "poor attempt" at all. I thought it was pretty good myself.

Broad statements often miss their true mark.

#311447 - 11/22/09 08:08 PM Re: A Poor Attempt At Poetry [Re: prisonerID]
petercorbett Online   content

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2496
Hi, my fraternal brothers.

It came from the depths of your soul.

I also think that it was pretty good myself.

Heal well my fraternal brothers, heal well.

Little Pete & big Pete.

Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

#311472 - 11/23/09 01:13 AM Re: A Poor Attempt At Poetry [Re: petercorbett]
ericc Offline

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1984
I thought it was good as well, and says a lot.

#313120 - 12/05/09 09:50 PM Re: A Poor Attempt At Poetry [Re: ericc]
Derdlecar Offline

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
I liked it a whole lot!


If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

#313123 - 12/05/09 09:58 PM Re: A Poor Attempt At Poetry [Re: Derdlecar]
Trucker51 Offline

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I would be willing to give it 9.5 on a 10 scale. Perhaps you could do a 2nd verse and maybe a 3rd verse as well as a chorus line then sell it for the big bucks, become a song-writer???


"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark


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