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#311312 - 11/21/09 04:00 PM what is borderline?
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell

ok... so ive had a week from hell with ppl telling mme off in chat, my boyfriend breakin up with me, my best friend on here telling me i dont talk enough n build too many walls around me... n on top of it all my t tells me she think i got borderline personality disorder n is thinkin bout putting me on meds...


i just dont get it..

what is borderline? what does this mean? i tried to read stuff online but it just seems to say ure moody n very dependent..

n what do meds do?

n how can she say all that bout me when shes only seen me like 4 times n doesnt even really kno anything bout me?

i need some help please

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Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#311346 - 11/21/09 10:53 PM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
Ornias Offline


Registered: 08/13/09
Posts: 310
hmm short details from what i understand you have a black and white perception on the world, people are either good or bad, they cant be good with faults, you are either pissed or happy, you cant be pissed but over all happy with life, its like one or the other and that's it.

don't like to be abandoned , even if its an imagined abandonment, if you think someone is abandoning you, even if that isn't how it is.

don't know how a shrink can tell you what you are after only a short time tho, i was told i was bpd but i dont believe it , because i read up on it and even tho some parts sound like me , i think parts sound like everyone.

my t gave me a book, my old t, " i hate you, dont leave me" but whatever,

i think the meds just make your emotions more stable and or chemicals in your brain, thats about the easiest way i know how to splain it all.

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its not easy to hide all this damage inside,
and ill carry it w
ith me until i'm not alive.

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#311363 - 11/22/09 03:24 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: Ornias]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell

who likes to be abandoned?????

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Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#311366 - 11/22/09 05:01 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
LilacLouie Offline


Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 359
Loc: Utah
No one.


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#311376 - 11/22/09 09:17 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: LilacLouie]
Dale English Offline
Newsletter Founder/Producer
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 448
Loc: PA
Try not to be concerned about the label of borderline. Abuse makes us all have trouble with the demands of being in relationships of any kind. Trust doesn't come easy for us.

As for the meds, well that's a different issue. Meds can't take personality disorders away! But they can calm some of the other symptoms we have that also make coping with ourselves and the world a whole lot easier. If it wasn't for my Paxil everyday I wouldn't be able to do a fraction of what I do now.

So hang in the boy and try to keep your focus entirely on getting better and not on anyone or anything else. Oh and keep writing too so you can get the support you deserve from those of us who have been where you are!

Taz


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#311378 - 11/22/09 09:38 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
hello boylikeme,
It is a very subjective thing therapy. It isn't about being physically talented or able to memorize symptoms and analyze chemical reactions.
Have you been particularly wound up lately? I find when I start into therapy I am neutral for a couple weeks then as things come up I start having my normal delayed reaction to it.
I look to normal people for how they behave and act to judge my own behavior. Normal people have all the same reactions we do but in different proportions and they give different nuances different weight and meaning. That is one aspect of it.
Another aspect is that therapists are rarely people who have been abused themselves so their only perspective and format for categorizing what you say is the one they were given in school. Yours sounds green. I think that is too soon to diagnose.



Edited by kidneythis (11/22/09 09:39 AM)
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As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#311389 - 11/22/09 10:51 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: kidneythis]
Ornias Offline


Registered: 08/13/09
Posts: 310
yeah


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#311481 - 11/23/09 06:03 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: Ornias]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Corey,

First this I want to say is that I'm really sorry you're having an upsetting time regardless of whether it's this or any of the other issues you've posted about. It's not fair at all!

When I saw this post the other day, I knew nothing about this borderline topic, diagnosis or whatever you wanna call it. So I did a little reading and in addition to learning more about it, I was really struck by the fact the psychological community is looking to use other designations which "sound" less dire to describe this set of conditions from which someone maybe be suffering. Obviously this is also just a snapshot of this exact moment in your life...it doesn't sound like she's saying "you're a borderline person" which is maybe what you're hearing.
In any event though, thanks for bringing this up here so that we can all have the chance to learn more through your experiences, even if it's clear you're posting this to get some input first and foremost.

You seem really upset by the T diagnosing after just a few visits. A T did a similar thing with my wife a few years ago and she really flipped for exactly the same reason. So I just wanted to tell you that so you know you're not alone on that score.

I'm no medical expert, but it does seem possible that your T was able to see certain things in the time that you did spend together that led her to saying that. Just because it was quick doesn't automatically make it less valid...but I'd suggest you really not get hung up on either the speed of her diagnosis or the name of the condition for now. Maybe there's something to what she's saying, maybe it's garbage, I dunno. So do your research calmly and see what you think yourself.

It's really easy to get upset by hearing something so black and white as "I think you've got this specific issue". Like I said above, I think this name is worse than what it is. I mean, they have to have something to call it.

On the other hand Corey, I'll point out that you're here at MS because a lot of things have given you a LOT of reasons to be upset in your life...particularly in the last half year to full year, from what I understand. I mean, anybody would have their head spinning from all of that, and so you've got this T that I guess can see that, even without knowing why your head is spinning.

About the meds, well man I don't know what to say about that....depends what meds, and for what she intends them to really have anything to say...if we're talking stuff to help you have a little greater sense of calm from which to deal with all of these big upheavals going on for you, well maybe that's NOT a bad thing...I dunno really. But, man do your research on all of these things with your computer. She wants to put you on meds...well read up on it, as well as this borderline stuff. I guess you can probably get enough information on the web. They probably don't have soooo much stuff about this in the english section of the bookstore where you live now.

I know this is all really difficult to manage, and you posted because of that, but I wanted to thank you for posting this as it turns out it's a topic I knew nothing about and is fascinating as I have a lot of those characteristics...the example ornias cites above about relationships is particularly familiar to me. By the way ornias, if you're still reading this thread, excellent distilling of the topic.

Corey, I'm glad you posted in this forum where I could lend a voice of support to you, which I can't do on your teen forum.


hang in there,

sono

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the family
the perp

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#311498 - 11/23/09 10:35 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: sono]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell
thanks everyone.. im still feeling really lost bout this

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Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#311527 - 11/23/09 04:25 PM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Originally Posted By: boylikeme
thanks everyone.. im still feeling really lost bout this


That's totally understandable Corey. You probably see people write all the time here..."you're not alone". Well, we of course mean that you've got everyone else here to talk to about it. But it's also so much of the time, "we all understand from direct personal experience these feelings and times of confusion". I think most guys here can easily put there self in your place and say, yeah, that's how I'd feel. If my own experience is any help, talking it out with the guys here has helped me with many things. I find it helps me work out exactly what it is that is bugging me or making me feel like shit. Then i can try to figure out a way to improve or change the situation.

sono

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#311528 - 11/23/09 04:28 PM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
just me Offline


Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 195
Hi,
I am not addressing the accuracy of someone calling you borderline and I agree with the others here that I am sorry for your recent frustration but here is the information you asked for:

"Borderline" is referring to a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, common in survivors of abuse. Here is the Wikipedia link to this topic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

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#311598 - 11/24/09 12:13 PM Re: what is borderline? [Re: just me]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell
i didnt go to therapy today

im so gonna be in trouble

_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#311670 - 11/25/09 12:40 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
how's it going Corey? hope u r not in trouble


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#311723 - 11/25/09 10:43 AM Re: what is borderline? [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell
my mum is pretty mad.. but i promised to take my lil sis n her friends to see New Moon tonight n that softened the rage a bit..

dunno wot the t will say... ugh

_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#311754 - 11/25/09 03:52 PM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
zb420 Offline


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 251
.



Edited by zb420 (12/14/09 09:53 PM)

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#311760 - 11/25/09 05:11 PM Re: what is borderline? [Re: zb420]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell
new moon was ok.. i mean.. not a great film but taylor lautner looked hott..lol.. bit hard with all those girlish squeals around me tho

_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#316462 - 12/26/09 04:33 PM Re: what is borderline? [Re: boylikeme]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Nobody likes to be slapped with a diagnosis. As a child, around the age of 9 or 10, I was diagnosed a learning disability. I remember railing against it at the time, feeling very upset, since this meant feeling inherently "different", which no child likes to feel. Later in life, as an adult I had to come to terms with my depression. For years I was depressed but it was the growing feeling of futility and the thoughts of suicide that made me get help in the form of medication. Even now I still occasionally struggle with the abuse label since it makes me feel damaged and different from other people. However, in all three of these examples eventually accepting the diagnosis' or categorizations led to positive outcomes. As a child, my school work improved by accepting my learning disability and receiving the resulting support. This was also true during my post-secondary education. As an adult, finally getting on meds for my depression and dealing with my abuse issues in an honest fashion has and still is changing my life n remarkable ways. I realize accepting a diagnosis of borderline is hard since like you said it seems so opaque. I'm not saying you should accept it right off the bat but following receiving the right information I encourage you to do to some soul searching to see if it feels right for you. JS

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Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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