yeah ive done the google maps thing to....but the place where i was abused is an apartment highrise and had difficulty getting an acurate adress...i did however look at where i lived right after the abuse,...and also the house where my stepfather was at his worst...that house is rundown now and had been remodled to some degree,...the two large trees in front are gone...the only thing i recognize is the old grey two car garage...which looks exactly the same....and i did notice the house seems so much smaller than i remember also...perhaps its the photos in google that create this illusion or maybe its becaue i was a kid, and everything seemed so much larger then,..it made me quite sad to see it though....many unpleasent memories in that house.

Yes, a lot of places have changed. The area that used to be a boy scout camp is now a public park (I think) called Calvert Cliffs State Park in Maryland. I got this picture from the internet site featuring that park

http://www.dnr.state.md.us/publiclands/southern/calvertcliffs.html

The woods still look the same, but apparently all the buildings are gone. The campsite I was in and the area of abuse are gone.



Allen

pufferfish

One point that seems to be mentioned by others, including myself, relates to how the room or building seems much smaller now in comparison to what we remember. I know I felt this instantly when I went down to the basement of the building where I was abused. I felt like a giant in a small room, and in some way that is true, I am a grown adult male, not a boy. I was 14 when it all started.

My recent topic about returning to the place of abuse was here:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...1920#Post301920

But this is part of how visiting and seeing this building for the first time in 30 years helped to change my perspective. I was certainly a smaller and younger me, quite defenseless to a lying and scheming perpetrator. When I think now about what he did to me, there is absolutely no doubt for me that it was not my fault, and I struggled with the doubt for so so long.

I did that too earlier this summer. I didn't expect it to affect me as much as it did.

I kinda ended up thinking "why did I do this to myself?!".

It's amazing how many memories an aerial view of your place of abuse can awaken!

I see how this may be cathartic to some but I have enough problems without having to remind my self and say "look its right over there."

There are enough bad memories in my town and old haunts to keep me busy for a long while without intentionally hurling myself into something that intense. But, for those of you that could do it, and it brought some form of healing then I'm glad for you.

Logan

I googled my grandpa's old house in NY and found out it was torn down. My perp's house still stands across the street. I went farther to track down my perp and found out he still lives at home with his parents. He is now 30 years old. I still wonder why he hasn't moved. Guess I should be the one to move on.

Found: The place where my father worked when I was the subject of kiddie porn at age 4. This isn't from googlemap but from Youtube.



The air base pictured in the cartoon is where my father worked as an officer when I was abused (pufferfish story part 1) in the kiddie porn thing. The setting is in California near the coast and near San Diego. The air base in the vid is Santa Ana Army Air Base. The scenery shown graphically is what the scene looked like at that time. The name of the grandfather of one of the boys also abused in the kiddie porn is given in the introductory credits. I should not say which one. The date for the vid is 1943, which is the time I was being abused. Who knows? Maybe the same camera used to film this cartoon was used in making the kiddie porn? World War II was on and everything about a base like that was supposed to be secret. That's why the sign said "censored".

Allen

pufferfish