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#310907 - 11/18/09 08:33 PM Why I Hate My Stepdad
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
Why do I hate him? Because he's suffocating.

Just being in the same house as him is hell. He gives off this aura (or should I say stench) that fills the whole house. Everytime he's around I feel like I have to walk on eggshells because I'm afraid of what he'll say or what he'll do or some shit like that. I'm basically forced to say "Hi" to him when I see him because if I don't then he'll start bitching about how disrespectful I am. Every word I say to him is fake and he knows it, my mom knows it. I can almost taste the fakeness in my mouth when I speek to him.

He gets upset by the dumbest things. For example: Earlier today I made myself some tea. I it on the table next to the couch in the living room but sinceI didn't start drinking it for a while the tea got cool and there was no use for the spoon so I sat the spoon on the table. Here he comes "I hope you don't get any stains on that table. Blah blah blah blah. I have to clean that table blah blah. I told you that already blah blah" The fucking spoon wasn't even wet so there were no stains to be made but he got all upset and made over that. The smallest thing makes him upset.

Another thing he does is that when he really wants to yell at me about something he tries and hold back by saying "Ya know, I'm just not going to say anything about it." Its sooooo annoying. I just wanna scream "Oh for fucks sake, just say what you want to say and stop being an asshole!" I think that way because I know he really wants to lay into me about something (usually something stupid, like always) but he knows my mom will get involved and there will be a big argument.

I honestly can't stand being anywhere with him. If I or my mom do something wrong its the end of the fucking world but if he does the same thing he doesn't want to talk about it or its not a big deal.

And then, when he needs something from me like a print out of his resume or for me to fill out a job application FOR HIM online he comes to me like a filthy dog with his tail between his legs and he talks all politly and shit like that. If it wasn't for the fact that I have no way to support myself right I say to him "FUCK YOU! Fill out you're own application. What the fuck do I look like, your secretary?"

But alas, I have no defenses. If I say or do anything all it will lead to is him following me around the house yelling at me while I try to close him out. I keep banking of the fact that one day I'll be gone from this house and won't have to have anything to do with him but daily that feeling is waivering.

God help me. One fucking day I'll be able to come home and relax without the smell of tention in the air. But, until then, what do I do?

Terrick



Edited by Clockwise (11/18/09 08:40 PM)
_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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#310992 - 11/19/09 03:41 PM Re: Why I Hate My Stepdad [Re: Clockwise]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell

hang in there

_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#311428 - 11/22/09 05:54 PM Re: Why I Hate My Stepdad [Re: boylikeme]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 845
Loc: Northeast, USA
Hey Terrick,

Your situation reminds me of how things were between me and my father. I never felt comfortable around him at all. There was always tension in the air. I wish I would have had a much better relationship with my father.

One option might be for you to try to change the relationship you have with your step dad for the better. Reaching out to him in some kind of way that you haven't done before. Maybe asking him for help or opening up to him about something you're thinking or feeling. If you and he build some kind of rapport or supportive relationship with each other I'm sure the tension will lessen between you, and you'll each gain something positive from the relationship. He may be able to help with your recovery if he was part of your support system. I'm not sure how open you or he would be to this idea, but it seems to be an option from where I stand, although I'm not in your shoes.

Another option might be to seek support outside of the house in the form of a friendship with someone you feel comfortable with and can trust. This can go a long way to alleviating the tensions inside the house, as you'll gain distance, perspective, and someone to lend an ear when you need to talk about your feelings or living situation.

One other options that I can think of is to try to gain a little more freedom in your life to where you can feel more comfortable with getting out of the house. This way you won't feel trapped inside the house and unable to escape when the tensions get too much to bear. I know you said you take walks. That sounds like a good thing to do as a way to escape the tensions when you need to. Perhaps you can find a nice park or other area where you can go to get away and know that you'll have this place to use as a sanctuary of peace.

Take care,

Rocco

_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#311458 - 11/22/09 10:02 PM Re: Why I Hate My Stepdad [Re: Casmir213]
alan55 Offline


Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 202
Loc: Seattle, WA
Casmir : I would also add this : Sometimes being a step-parent is a tenuous situation at best. They didn't bring you into the world and may or may not have a history with you. My Dad remarried when I was in high school. Suddenly my step-mom had a 16 year old guy in her life she didn't know. I had a woman in my life I didn't know. We had our tense times and some good times. We never cussed at one another and we never raised our voices. There were times we laughed and days of long silences.
I would also venture to say that it would be good for you to find others to hang out with. Being out of the house with others of your own age (I don't know how old you are, clockwise)


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#311621 - 11/24/09 07:11 PM Re: Why I Hate My Stepdad [Re: alan55]
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hey. Thanks for the advice guys. I will take it into consideration but my stepdad and I just had another one of our thrilling (sarcasm) conversations. An hour long car ride with him telling me how selfish and self-centered I am and how lazy I am and how I don't clean and blah blah blah and all that shit. And you know what, most of it is true. I don't clean or do chores and being a grown man, I should. It was majorly uncomfortable but, I don't know, maybe I need it.

Still, with all the shit he threw in my face, I wanted to blurt out about my abuse and my depression and about my sexuality (and how he's a homophobe) and school issues and shit like that. I knew that if I did it would only lead to him talking about me being selfish and only thinking of myself and making up excuses for what I do and don't do. Yeah, it never ends.

Lord, please give me the stregnth to be patient. The quicker I get out of this house the better.

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Yet another 24 hours.

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#311843 - 11/26/09 10:14 AM Re: Why I Hate My Stepdad [Re: Clockwise]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 845
Loc: Northeast, USA
A friend might help Terrick. If you want to you can PM me, and I'll be happy to listen and be your friend as best I can.

Happy Thanksgiving Terrick and to everyone listening,

Rocco

_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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