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#310734 - 11/17/09 04:34 PM Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help
just me Offline


Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 194
By answering the following question with 'YES', 'NO', or 'NOT SURE' you can really help me get to the bottom of this question:

When you were a child (age 8-18) did a medical Doctor ever check private areas during a 'sick visit'?

I will assume that during 'full physicals' private areas were checked (so I'm not asking that). The goal is to see how unusual what happened to me is.

It would be great if EVERYONE who read this post answered.

[If your answer is 'YES' please indicate if you felt it was inappropriate at that time- I am just trying to figure out how inappropriate the Dr. I saw that time as a kid was...the answers here will help.]

Thanks very much!


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My Story

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#310735 - 11/17/09 04:46 PM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: just me]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Just Me,

No the dr did NOT check my private area - is the answer for me - during sick visits - my doctor checked my throat and ears. I was asked if I had a stomach ache or any other issues.

Peace,
DJ

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Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#310743 - 11/17/09 05:54 PM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: DJsport]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Hey J M,

Only during a regular physical with mother present.

sono

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the family
the perp

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#310745 - 11/17/09 06:01 PM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: sono]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 845
Loc: Northeast, USA


Never a regular doctor, but once a school nurse (who was male) actually gave me a hernia check the perverted way. I heard he did this to all the students too, but looking back on it I'd say it was sexual abuse because it isn't necessary to do that to check for a hernia, right?



Edited by Casmir213 (11/17/09 06:08 PM)
_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#310746 - 11/17/09 06:01 PM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: sono]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Yes, I got the old hernia check quite a few times as a kid when I didn't think that it was a part of the problem. I didn't like it then either, but I always thought then that it was part of any regular doctor visit. Perhaps my old doctor was a perp in disguise too. Here lately my doctor is a really fine looking late 30-something young gal and I don't mind when she wants to do it!!!

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#310787 - 11/18/09 12:30 AM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: just me]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
When I was five or six I vaguely remember my pants being pulled down by a doctor so he could access my backside, probably to give me a shot. I don't remember anything inappropriate occuring and I seem to recall an adult family member being in the room at the time. Later when I was 16 and in the process of joining the military an army physician put his finger up there as part of receiving a full physical. No teenage kid likes that but at the time I presumed it was part of the deal. However, I didn't find the jockular humour he used while he was doing it appropriate. After the physical I remember new recruits the same age as me commenting on the same thing so it has always made me wonder. JS

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Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#310794 - 11/18/09 01:48 AM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: jls]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 859
Loc: washington
I was born with herniated testicals as a child, (one was brought down and the other was removed---perhaps some unintentional trauma there...as I didn't really enjoy losing my bits).

Beyond that... I had on-call doctors that would spend like what seemed all day fondling me. Sometimes, I just wanted to blurt out...did you see those five inch scars on each side of my torso...(I was just thinking...you might want to stop staring at my junk and look for a clue...??? (sometimes this was almost laughable).

There were shots and other reasons for having my pants down...even when sick...I just felt...it was kinda par for the course whenever visiting...

This is just my experience...and am not trying to minimize the fact that this type of abuse exists...but I am going...with a "no"...specific to my case.


Somebody Save Me (Cinderella)

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#310816 - 11/18/09 08:11 AM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: 1islandboy]
Elad 12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1176
Loc: on the coast
no


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#310860 - 11/18/09 04:33 PM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: Elad 12]
just me Offline


Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 194
Thanks! I appreciate the responses and I am looking forward to more.
So far so good.

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My Story

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#310891 - 11/18/09 07:46 PM Re: Was I abused? PART 2 - You can help [Re: just me]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
This is tuff for me to share and I only 'remembered' it recently and descused it with my T who commented on it saying to me that it was a form of such body violation that it could be considered rape.

****Major--TRIGGERS****

I guess I put this out of my mind until I had dealt with some(a LOT) of the other stuff from my past, and then one day I remembered it and felt extreme shame from it until I discussed it over with my T.

When I was 12 yrs old, I when to the pediatrician for a regular physical or at least I think that is why I when, it may have also been because my behavior had changed dramatically at that time. It was at the time that my second abuser, the violent one was abusing me and he had already fully raped me by that time.
Now that I think about it I don't think it was a regular checkup because my mom was acting strange, talking privately with one of the doctors before I was seen by that Doctor. It was not my regular Doctor but rather the head of the practice; an older woman that I did not exactly distrust but was weary of anyone wanting to see me naked. she started by asking me some extremely embarrassing questions with my mom still present in the room at that time about why my penis was raw in some places and had a small scab on it-she did this while pulling down my shorts and touch me there and my reflexive response was to say aggressively, "I Don't Know!," and pull away and pull up my shorts. The doctor then whispered something to my mom and my mom left the room after that. The Doctor then told me to remove my shorts and lie flat on my stomach on the examining table. I followed her orders roboticly as if in a trance Then without telling before she did it he had put on a rubber glove and some lubricant and she shoved her fingers into me. I flinched hard and then froze. She was digging around, pressing on/in different areas of inside me, stopping a certain points to ask, "does it hurt here" to which I replied "No." She kept moving around and stopping frequently would say "how 'bout here" to which my response was the same mechanical answer, "No."
All this time that this was going on my body was in panic frozen mode praying for it to end and every time she pressed down it hurt like HELL! But I was so afaid of anyone finding out what was happening to me at the time that I kept my mouth shut and dealt with the pain.
The other thing that shamed the hell out of me was at the time this examination was taking place I got and erection and I felt so, so, so ashamed of that and afraid that she would notice when I began to get dressed.

When I told my T this story, I told him in a matter of fact way and it had not crossed my mind that this too was a Major violation to me and in a sense was a form of rape.

On an extra note after this experience, I began to lubricate myself before I would meet with my perp so that the rapes were not as painful but by doing that it made me feel even more complicit in the acts as i would rationalize that "I am preparing my self/body for the next encounter/ not even trying to resist or fight him but just accepting it and going along with it and praying that it would be over quick so that I could go back home!

this has officially brought me to heavy tears so i am going to go and take my dog for a long walk and take a break from all this

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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