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#310005 - 11/11/09 11:40 AM My bass is dead!
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Okay, now it really seems like there are higher forces messing with me. I've been restless and utterly unbearable for more than a month having nothing to do other than holing myself up in the house for days on end, feeling tense, my hands shaking like I've run kilometres, jumping every time the door opens, dropping things, shouting for no reason, snapping at people at school, so many things and arguments running through my head, starting a thought and shouting at myself to stop thinking. It's like there's a whole tonne of noise, when the flat is completely silent.

I've been raging with no reason.

There's not much I can do to release the stress being here. There's school, but even though I've been here for almost a year I still don't get along with anyone. Couldn't be able to really. I'm an arsehole. There's the city, oh how wonderful marvellous olympic city, but it doesn't pick my interest and I have the amazing ability to get a little overwhelmed around a lot of people. And the street isn't safe anyway. There's MS sure, but most people are in other time zones and even chat is weird to be in, it's not like people really like to talk or me on the other hand. I like to talk but I don't, don't know how. How fucked up this all can be. And there's my bass.

Yeah, the bass, the only thing that kept me from resorting to self harm so far when I'm growling in frustration and shame and that boiling anger. But oh joy, yesterday around 10.30 pm, I was playing the damned thing and there was this weird thing with the lights flickering and the amp making rather weird noises and suddenly it all went off. Total pitch black. Blackout in almost the whole fucking country! Bloody hell!

Today I tried to turn it on but thing is the electrical stuff is ruined. The bass, the amp, the fridge and a whole lot of other things. I really don't know what I'm going to do now.

Sorry, just venting.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#310011 - 11/11/09 12:42 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: user2007]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
Sorry about your electrics, Sounds like a surge. If you can, put a surge protector in between the house socket and all the electrical things you don't want to lose in case of another one. It is usually a short cord with plug a strip of sockets and a switch for on off and a breaker.

I know what you mean. I find doing something anything positive helps. Then do another thing, and another etc. its not easy and the anger feels so right and so wrong at the same time. Someone told me once that not forgiving is like taking poison to spite your enemy.
I know that doesn't help right away but it is important and should be incorporated. I've found my anger at the injustice of it all, and the things I fail at right now because of what happened then, feels less poisonous when I am in a state of forgiveness. Which does slip away once in a while.
I try to accept myself as I am. I also distract myself by searching randomly online for information about abuse, torture, and the long term effects of same. There is a lot more info than the dearth of treatment options and public sympathy would indicate.
But mainly it comes down to doing positive things for yourself. Sometimes just breaking it down to moment by moment steps is necessary. Stream of consciousness; Next I breathe in, then I breathe out. ok wash this cup, dry this cup, put this cup away. Always asking myself what is the next thing I need to do? Not sexy or exciting but it can get you through the tough spots.

_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#310019 - 11/11/09 01:45 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: kidneythis]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Sorry to hear about your loss my young friend. The news of the big blackout was on MSN last night when I got home. All that they said was that "something" had gone wrong at some hydroelectric dam on the border with Paraguay and that your electric utility had been forced to shut-down both Rio and Sao Paulo. Sometimes major electric appliances have an internal breaker or fuse that will protect the unit in the case of a power surge. My guess is that your refrigerator might have this feature, possibly your amp too. If you can get over to a hardware store or your local Home Depot, or wherever people go in Rio for building supplies, you should be able to pick-up surge protectors for your various electrical components. Your computer should have one too.

Sorry to hear about your loneliness, hope that you can find some friends and some solace for your discouragement soon. Keep working on your recovery and self-esteem, my man, and your future will be much brighter than your reality is today. We're here if you need us, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#310028 - 11/11/09 04:27 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: Trucker51]
brother2none Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/30/09
Posts: 265
Loc: Undisclosed
(((((JMc))))))

From one bass player to another... it's gonna be ok. Its a challenge you can overcome. Check talkbass.com for your next bass, maybe someone can hook you up with a loaner. I'd do it for you but I am a lefty.

Don't delay on finding a temp. bass to use, the playing part is a wonderful release from the stress and tension of the day.


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#310031 - 11/11/09 04:46 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: brother2none]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1135
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
J,

Just a quick techie note. Yeah I studied electronics AND am a guitar player, well noise maker at least. lol.

While it is possible that the amp is toast, it is probable that the bass guitar wasn't damaged at all. This is dependent of the pick-up design in the bass. If they are passive (no batteries) then it is likely that the bass is fine. If the bass has active electronics, then that part may have been damaged but the bass itself is still good. The electronics may be bypassed easily by a tech at a guitar shop, leaving you with a very functional bass!

Jim

_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

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#310076 - 11/11/09 10:14 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: Jim1961]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Hello all and thanks for the responses, I can feel you truly care (even when the subject isn't something considered that important), thanks a lot.

kidneythis, I don't really know why I'm all this angry, to tell the truth there's no reason at all it's just that sometimes it seems all to much and the blood starts to boil and then when I realise I'm already flirting with dangerous things. I don't really know what is it I can do that'll be positive about this. I don't know what to do with my anger other than be rude to people and snap all the time.

Thanks Mark, Ned says thank you too (my bass, I have the weird habit of naming stuff). Yes, the blackout was massive here, most of the country was affected (18 in 27 states) because of failure in Itaipu dam, and many people had trouble with eletronic devices and stuff like food that couldn't stay out of the fridge. They had trouble in hospitals without generators too, the streets were a mess without trafic lights and so on. Comparing to that my little problem doesn't seem that much and watching the news I get that feeling that I'm complaining too much. Oh hell. It doesn't look like my loneliness problems are that much. Sorry I've been annoying you so much lately lol.

Thanks brother2none, maybe I'll really need a temp bass, I don't know if I can hang on for loo much longer without something to do with my hands. I end up doing bad stuff when I have too much time on my hands. I hope you're right and I can overcome this bloody hell.


Jim, my bass has active pickups, so you think it's just a matter of buying new pickups? Because if it is it'll be so much easier. I can try and talk my father into buying me a new amp but if I tell him I need a new bass he'll laugh at my face. I hope you're right! Thanks!

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#310081 - 11/11/09 10:45 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: user2007]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, J_M.

I can relate to the emptyiness and being in the dark. Scary shit!!!

Can you feel the love hear? Safe hugs ok....

I know for me when the electricity to my aquarium goes out (i have all the surge protectors so NO water backs up) I am mad and uneasy for awhile until I find another something to do.

The electricity will come back.

Until later,
DJ

BTW - you are NOT an arsehole as you state...



Edited by DJsport (11/11/09 10:51 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#310082 - 11/11/09 10:58 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: DJsport]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Quote:
I can relate to the emptyiness and being in the dark


i love and cherish the dark! yes i do! it teaches me so much about myself.

all the best,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#310137 - 11/12/09 09:17 AM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: Sans Logos]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Yeah I can feel the love. lol

Thanks, not an arsehole, not a arsehole... lol

The dark is good for sleep. For sleep only.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#310140 - 11/12/09 09:49 AM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: user2007]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 730
Loc: NJ
Not much help here, but as a fisherman I read your title diffrently than most.

Hope you're Bass makes it through, and you can find a smile today!

Good vibes heading your way from NJ.

_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#310141 - 11/12/09 10:06 AM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: Castle]
irishguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 231
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
Hey J,

That sucks bout the amp man, maybe have a look at the fuse in the amp it could be just that which is blown, if not try find a knick knack shop (ya know those places that sell all sorts of odds and ends) I found myself a beaut Laney bass amp for €25 in one. could be worth a try.

Good luck

_________________________
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

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#310162 - 11/12/09 01:59 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: irishguy]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell
hi j

i kno nothing bout power surges or repairing basses..ok

i just wanted to say i kno wot it feels like to be a lonely arsehole in a strange country... n in a different time zone from everybody else..

u can always message me, ok.. doesnt have to be bout the island or the tardis...


_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#310185 - 11/12/09 05:29 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: boylikeme]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Thanks guys you don't know how much it means for me to know that you care. I don't feel so good right now, seems like I'll have to hang on without it for longer than I thought. I asked for money to send it to repair but my father is too busy and my mother said she would rather send me the violin from england than to pay to repair that bloody noise maker. Why would I want the fucking violin? I don't want the violin I want my bass. She's the one who likes the violin not me.

I know it might seem childish but she just doesn't understand. And then we come back to her wishes all over again. It's always about her never about me.

(Just venting again)

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#310192 - 11/12/09 05:51 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: user2007]
irishguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 231
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
Dude thats crappy, I hope you can find some resolution for it, man if I could I would let you have my amp cause I hardly use it anymore and it is a waste to see it sittin there, although it is serving well as a shelf for my printer by my desk. hope you have a good turn soon, but keep on venting man its stops the build up of badness.

_________________________
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

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#310195 - 11/12/09 05:55 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: Castle]
alan55 Offline


Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 202
Loc: Seattle, WA
J - The loneliness and the anger are natural for us. It is not that you are going crazy or are unnatural. What may assist you in working through this is to locate someone to process these feelings with. They do not need to be a CSA survivor, nor do they need to be a therapist or any sort of professional, just willing to listen. They don't need to be able to solve anything
(if it could be solved we would all be further along with this than we are I think). Just to process it and not give it any more energy than necessary will be helpful. Find someone - call someone. Are you connected with any place of faith (church,synagogue,mosque,temple)? Oftentimes there are clergy there with whom you can talk. The healing process, while it is a choice on our part, takes time. A lot of time.


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#310217 - 11/12/09 08:41 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: user2007]
brother2none Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/30/09
Posts: 265
Loc: Undisclosed
Originally Posted By: J_McCormick
Thanks guys you don't know how much it means for me to know that you care. I don't feel...


Alan is spot on, in the pocket, if you will, about this. Take your comment here, J, see how it reinforces your position of being alone. When in reality, I and others here know exactly what it means to finally be understood and finally feel cared for.


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#310219 - 11/12/09 09:06 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: brother2none]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Thanks, I don't know what I'd do without you all and this site. I've been here for a long time and though I don't post much I know there are good people here and that I can always come back when things turn to go very badly. Thanks for real.

I went for a walk. It helped somewhat. I don't really have anyone to talk to here, I don't know much people so I end up venting here a lot. Sorry if it starts to get annoying and thanks again.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#310242 - 11/13/09 12:14 AM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: user2007]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Hey J,

When I first saw this on the new topics, I saw guys giving advice about the amp, so I thought it was really all about the amp...well that or a fresh water fish...lol... It wasn't until I thought to ask WHO'S bass had died that I read the whole post. That's really a pile a crap, the whole thing, all the way from it dying to knowing your dad's response to your mom wanting to send your fiddle! Like Corey above, I get living abroad, lived in 6 countries other than my own, and feeling like a dope about 95% of the time and just having no real clue how to change any of it for the better. Main thing I wanted to say though, is really NO WORRIES about venting J...even if it's the same 5 words over and over again...do it and get that shit out of your system. It really does help. Like brother says, we really DO know what it means to be able to get it out and to feel like someone else cares. There's a unique thing about our shared experiences that has continually occurred to me, and it's that those experiences, the things you know that brought us all here, are so much deeper than things like age, nationality, race, background, economic status, marital status, orientation...all of it, are just surface details in comparison. So, yeah...we DO understand...for real, not just in some adult, trying to make you feel better way. Sorry, got off on to a bit of a rant there myself....

Here's one to the dead bass and/or it's amp!!!!

sono

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#310329 - 11/13/09 08:43 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: sono]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Thanks sono, I do know now that it's fine to come here and talk to you all. I am grateful really it's not so lonely here, it's not just like as if it was me and my laptop scrolling a webpage. I thank a lot to you all, you make my day.

Thanks again,
J.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#310437 - 11/14/09 10:38 PM Re: My bass is dead! [Re: user2007]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
hey J!

i know little about repearing basses but hey, i hope u get it done..

i second all the others tho, u r not alone ... you're so right, it's not like you're r alone wid ur laptop scrolling a webpage, it's a lot more ..

i'm sry ur mom doesnt get it dude... is summer vacattion close right? what about a part time job or something to get the money for repair? i think u cud find something dunno..

i hope u know u can msg me anytime too!





Edited by Daniel_forgotten (11/14/09 10:45 PM)

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