I can definitely relate to being out of sync with other people, of being either steps ahead or steps behind, anywhere but along side of them, that's too scary, and I think it does have to do with trusting others.
Silence, yes it's uncomfortable for me also. There's truth and intimacy in silence, and that's scary too.
Something I learned at the WoR was mindfulness techniques, and how to stay in the present moment. Words can be barriers to intimacy and our ability to connect with others sometimes, as they can easily take us out of the present moment. Breathing deeply and concentrating on your breathing is a good way to stay in the present moment. Maybe trying this before and during your next group session would be helpful DJ. Also, I found that making eye contact with others in a group setting, while although scary for me, can keep me in the present moment. I tend to think that people don't like me, and making eye contact can disconfirm this belief that I carry with me wherever I go. It's a way to allow concrete evidence from my immediate environment to disrupt that negative self-talk that goes on inside of my head, and it helps to relax me and keep me present.
I'm glad you shared this with us DJ, and it does sound like you are making progress. Good work.
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.
WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009
My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.