your story sounds not surprisingly similar to so many of the married and single men who arrive at the portal of this organization. confused sexual identity is one of the hallmark tragedies of sexual abuse. i hope your wife can register here or at least read what other friends and family are going thru with their partners and loved ones. you have so much internal stress over this, and also a lot of anxiety coming from outside yourself, in your relationship to your wife. lots of bad vibes attacking you from all sides.
just try to relax ok? these realizations you are verbalizing will not overwhelm you and destroy you. they will lead you to greater power, mastery and confidence over your life in many ways, as you begin to yield to the process of recovery.
there are so many good resources here to help you gain in understanding. also 3 books that saved my life are:
- victims no longer , by mike lew
- abused boys, by mic hunter
- male victims of same sex abuse: addressing their sexual response by john preble and a. nicholas groth.
visit our library
as there are excellent resources there for gaining in understanding on this very important subject.
and finally, you can visit the website of joe kort, m.s.w. straight guise
, for free, and avail yourself of the marvelous articles he has written for men of all gender persuasions and sexual identities. joe speaks to allay the fear and shame that many men encounter as they begin to understand the collateral damage of sexual abuse.
tolico, please try to understand that you are not the only one dealing with this, and that you you don't have to go thru this on your own. you are not alone.
all the best,