An alternative:

I apologize: I earlier wrote a flippant answer here.

We can't go back. But if we continue in counseling and working on our problems, we can be happier people. Teens really aren't too happy anyway. Teens may really be the most unhappy years. What we mean by wanting to be a teen is we want to roll back the cares of life and be as carefree as we think teens are.

Allen

pufferfish :whistle

deleted. sorry.

Terrick,
We did miss out on alot of things, I don't think anyone would disagree with that. It is sad that we were unable to live our childhood in the way we were meant to. I actually am jealous of teens when I see them when I'm out in public. However, sometimes I also realize that the same things that made me vuenerable to the abuse would also be the same things that would make me vuenerable to hanging out with the wrong people, doing drugs, drinking. So in some respects it may have been a good thing I isolated myself.

Hope your doing well and Happy Birthday

Jason

I'd rather be 100. At least people would expect less of me.

Thanks everyone for the responses. I know there is still plenty of time to live my life but it seems that the older I get the more awkward I feel around people. I feel like I've missed out on so many of those little seemingly insignificant teegage-year things. Like, staying out too late, having girls (or guys, lol) call my house, and just being a normal teen.

It's funny sometimes when I thing about it; I enjoy diversity and individuality so much but what I want to be more than anything is another stereotypical copy of an American teenager.

But like you guys said, there's still time. It's not like I'm 40 or anything, lol

Just because you are 20 it doesn't mean you are beyond the "teen" stage automatically. The rigid marker of what a teen is is misguided in many ways. People have different responsibilities and different freedoms at different ages. I know people who are 21 and still very much "teens". I know people that are 16 and are more mature than many adults.

I have lots of responsibilities and i can be mature in things that i do. But that doesn't mean i can't do things that i would have done when i was that little bit younger. Just take all the good things that you want in your life and work through the rest.

Lots of the time i find myself doing things that i am sure i would have done in my teens, i don't see much difference- although i do understand the feeling of loss that you describe. The good thing is that we can regain many of these things and empower ourselves (sure- some things can never be taken back- but regained in other ways).



You can still do many of the things that you missed as a teen. Being older you have even more opportunity.

I like the fact that life isn't rigid. People don't have to be compartmentalised. Things are not black and white. You may have a teacher in school who is a real hard-ass and strict, but in the night he may be out there doing monkey impressions on a table in a pub- lol.

What i mean to say is just because you have these changes and maybe increases in responsibilities don't deny yourself opportunities or tell yourself that you can't or shouldn't do certain (un-damaging) things, just because it doesn't follow the main stream stereotypical way of thinking. Just be yourself and follow your heart.

I still have a teddy bear for example- and i am 21! and i don't care what people think about that.

Lewis

It may comfort you to know when you hit 30 you will regret things you didn't do in your 20s. Same when you hit 40, except that you start looking closer at where you are in life. That's when a lot of people have the proverbial mid-life crisis.

There's no getting around regret. It will always be there. You just can't waste time dwelling on something you cannot change. As Henry David Thoreau so eloquently said:

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment."

Terrick,

Happy late birthday, and thanks for the thread; I certainly needed it! I'm 37 and often feel regrets over what has or has not been. I think a lot of this regret it pretty normal, as Alidade has stated. And I think he is also right in that you can't waste time dwelling on the past. Truth is, no matter how good the past may have been all we have is now. Not that it is easy to live in the present all the time (and certainly I think it is good to reflect on the past, just not get stuck in it.) You have lots of life to live ahead of you, and about starting conversations, we are our own worst enemies. Truth is most people are just as insecure and really like to talk as well. Give it a try sometime, start a conversation you want to start and see how it goes. And then try it again. It can get easier. Not saying sometimes people don't want to talk, because surely that is the case sometimes but not always. Again, Happy Birthday!

Eric