For the longest time I couldn't figure out how to let anything go. I asked people how. Counselors, disability advocates, they all said "just get over it. Let it go." And I never could figure it out. All they would say is "you just do". Which is a lie. You just don't.
Letting it go is very hard, but one of the biggest parts of letting it go is realizing that there is nothing you can do about it. It's past. It's over with. It only persists in your mind. Yeah, it happened and yeah it hurt. Yeah the damage is there, but YOU can decide if it's going to bother you.
I know Sport, that doesn't help you any. You're likely to be angry now yelling "how dare you! I don't want it to bother me! How can you tell me that I'm letting it? You bastard! You don't understand!" I know that because I have been there.
You see, no one was willing to tell me how THEY got past it. Now something to understand here is that you will have a long hard battle to completely get over it. Whatever "it" is. But the biggest part is just starting.
I learned this recently, and I keep learning it. I'll tell you how I do it, but it's your call if you do it that way. After all what works for me may not work for you.
I pray. I pray to God and I beg Him and His Son Jesus for help. "Please, I beg you Father, I beg you Jesus, help me stop these flashbacks. Help me get past this. Help me stop hitting myself.
And you know something? It works. THAT told me there is a God after all. I tried to tell myself this, praying to myself as if there was no god. One of my counselors laughed at me thinking there was a god, and he suggested it. Pray to yourself. Make yourself your own god in your own mind. And you know something? It just plain failed terribly. And until recently when I started praying to God for help, nothing would stop it.
Now I pray, and I find out so well when I forget to ask for His help. The flashbacks are still there, but with prayer they are far less damaging. I don't hit myself anymore. I just gotta keep praying.
I realize that you may not be a Christian. If you aren't that's just fine. I understand. Pick a god, pick a religion, and PRAY. Having a power higher than yourself helps. And when you ask your higher power, in my case Jesus, to take on these burdens, to relieve you of their torment, it may not happen over night, but it happens. You just gotta keep praying.
That works for me, Sport. IMO, if you pray to God, and beg fopr His help, He'll help. But it's gotta be everyday. IMO.
I hope this doesn't offend you if you;'re not religious.