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#250735 - 09/23/08 02:20 PM Started the anti retroviral drugs
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
I have started, well its been a month now, taking Truvada and Viramune to supress the action of the HIV virus. I did have a rough "ride" for the first couple of weeks. I only have problems with balance now.

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

Top
#250736 - 09/23/08 02:21 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: duncanUK]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Hang in there Duncan. They say the new drug work well. One of my best friends has been HIV+ for almost 10 years now and is doing great. Best wishes!

Peace and love...

Michael


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#250807 - 09/23/08 09:31 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: M3]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
duncan, wishing you the best as you adjust to your course of therapy. i hope you are soon back to maximum efficiency and functionality! my prayers are with you!

(((((( duncan )))))

your brother in recovery,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


Top
#250889 - 09/24/08 12:10 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: Sans Logos]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Duncan,

Hey bro, well done! I'm glad you're giving the meds an chance and working with your doctors. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#250916 - 09/24/08 03:24 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: roadrunner]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
Thank you for your replies. I write down when i take the drugs and sum the amount left so that i know when i will run out and have to get some more before that happens.

Part of me is hoping the drugs work and another part of me wants them to fail. I will continue to take them and if the virus mutates so that the drug no longer works i will take the others they have on offer.

It was a big step for me to start taking the drugs. I kept on putting it off and hoped that i could fight the virus myself. I know now that if i continued down this route my progression to AIDS would have been sooner - 2 to 3 years.

I still have intense anger and hatred within me i am trying to supress it, but it is so hard sometimes. A couple of weeks ago i made my friend cry. I felt nothing. I guess they are worried about me incase i stop taking the drugs.

I managed to repair the damage that i caused and apologised for my outburst.

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

Top
#251837 - 09/29/08 02:00 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: duncanUK]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
I have stopped taking the drugs. The doctors do not know and never will. Its been 4 days now.

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

Top
#251839 - 09/29/08 02:06 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: duncanUK]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/04/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Why?


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#251853 - 09/29/08 02:41 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: M3]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Duncan,

I hope you will be able to talk about this. These decisions are yours, of course, but please bear in mind that the doctors are only trying to work with you for your own benefit and welfare.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#251854 - 09/29/08 02:43 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: roadrunner]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
yes duncan, please tell us more. you must not go through this alone.

your friend,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


Top
#252386 - 10/01/08 03:02 PM Re: Started the anti retroviral drugs [Re: Sans Logos]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
My whole mind is coming apart. I am sorry for just saying "I have stopped taking the drugs" without explaining myself.
I hate going for the blood tests. I hate the fact that i have HIV. I look at the drugs and i do not want to take them.

I am haunted by flash backs and have nightmares of werewolves and faceless people. I cant save them. I loose everytime. I have hatred and anger burning in my heart. I feel unclean and dirty everyday; having this virus makes that feeling worse. I hate myself.

I just do not know any more. which way to turn? or is every turning a dead end?

sorry.............

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

Top
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