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#30535 - 03/19/05 05:46 PM Rambling kid
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148



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#30536 - 03/19/05 10:01 PM Re: Rambling kid
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Quote:
Originally posted by Charlie:
I can't expect everyone to act grownup 'cause some guys here still feel like scared children inside. I can't expect every man here to be the "safe" grownup I'm looking for 'cause some of the guys can't even help themselves or their own families, they're in too much pain.
In alot of respects I am the nieve 12 year old boy I was when I was abused.

Yes, Charlie when we want you to share and get help, I guess we see ourselves in you, and we desprately want to help. Personally, I want to give you a chance to have as much of a normal childhood as possible. But as you said, you are a different person and you have to do whats right for you.

Just know that I care for you like a brother. The way a bother should care not the way my brother did.

Jason


Edited to remove the remainder of the quoted text

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#30537 - 03/19/05 10:48 PM Re: Rambling kid
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Charlie,

Hey, none of us think you are a rambling kid, I am an old guy, but I was only 11yo when these terrible things happened, and I can remember some of what you are facing today.

You have us to talk to, if nobody else.

Many of us had nobody to talk to, so we bottle it all up and deal with the anger that goes with it.

I would never tell you what you should, or should not do, and I deeply regret that you have to be here, but you found us, and we all care.

I too, ran away, when I was going through it, but there is never any place to really hide, so I had to face it, and face it head on.

Because you have other people who care for you, and we all really do, then the burden can at least be shared.

You are free to share as little, or as much as you feel here, it is your choice, but nobody is going to call you dirty, because we can all consider ourselves to have been dirty little B**s.

I think you can feel safe in here, and I hope you do, but keep safeness in mind at all times, your safeness is most important.

I give you so much respect, in being able to post here, it must have taken so much, but it must have lifted a huge burden, just to be able to tell others,

take care of you,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#30538 - 03/19/05 11:34 PM Re: Rambling kid
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hello Charlie, and welcome!

You sound to me like you have things together pretty well. You have some good insight into the process this thing takes.

I am one of the old men here but I did not work really hard at recovery until 2000. It takes a lot of patience, at least it did for me. We make a step or two forward and think something is behind us and then we are stareing it in the face again.

You have perhaps heard this a lot of times already, but I will say it again: move at your own speed and in a way that lets you feel safe and yet also feel that you are moving on.

We do get better. We can succeeed in life and in relationships. It is just that it seems as though it is more work for a person who has been betrayed, violated and traumatized. Believe in yourself and your own goodness. Only the most courageous can face these things, break the silence and still keep some joy in our lives. WE have all overcome what would have totally broken and ruined other, less strong and powerful men. This is not meant to sound arrogant or proud, it is just my opinion after listening to soo many men here and in groups I belong to.

The very best of everything to you in this work of mending, or healing or whatever you wish to call it.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#30539 - 03/20/05 02:37 AM Re: Rambling kid
self_righting Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 69
Loc: Tampa, FL
Charlie,

You'll have to fogive us for our enthusiasm in trying to "save" you. I think many of us suffered in silence and anonimity for many years before we began to share our burdens. Naturally,we would want to spare you all that suffereing if possible.
However, as the folks above said, this is your journey and you have to take it at your own pace. Try and pardon us if we hit you in the head with a 1000 life preservers.

John


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#30540 - 03/20/05 05:29 PM Re: Rambling kid
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148



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#30541 - 03/20/05 06:46 PM Re: Rambling kid
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Charlie, if the abuse is still happening, please get in contact with Ken Singer, one of our moderators and a therapist. Allow him to help you. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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