Remember though, just because they oppose it or disagree with it does not mean they are homophobes.

thats right louie

phobias are irrational fears which do not equate to moral or intellectual objections which actually are rational...though we may disagree with these various objections its not helpful to try to pathologize everyone who has a world view that does jive with our own...because that ultimately makes us all phobic then....which of course is rediculous....i suggest if someone objects to your particular world view, that you should present a "rational" argument as to why they maybe wrong....instead of labeling them "phobic" which requires a legitimate diagnosis from a mental health professional...otherwise its just childish name calling.

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you certainly have a complicated situation on your hands, i think its a great idea to edit and simplify our lives when they get to complex to handle...moving away either with or without the g/f is probably not such a bad idea...imho.

What mistake? What do you mean .... even if I was gay!

I do not apologize to anyone for my standing up for myself if they are making a generalization when I am around especially when the generalization includes me.

The words "lost his life" are very disconcerning.

i dont understand anything anymore.

you can do 'gay stuff' but not being gay at all? is that possible or am i mistaken? or you do and you don't know why, and then you feel grossed out about it. I don't think that's being gay bcause if you are gay you're supposed to like it, right? or you just feel confused about it and give the wrong sings and the whole thing ends up wrong, and then what?

idk it's all so confusing

Sexuality can be very confusing. Yes you can do "gay" things and not be gay. It may mean nothing more than you like that particular sensation given by that particular act that particular time with that particular person in that particular place and situation. Which you may or may not find yourself in again. Or it may mean you are confused and conflicted about that whole issue at that time in your life.

Then again you may be gay in orientation and not comfortable with it yet and in denial but still enjoy the romp.

There are as many possibilities as there are personalities the spectrum is quite broad. It also may change quite a bit with time. Probably best to consider this issue ONLY as it relates to you and your situation. It can give you a headache.

yeah i agree....if you can engage in heterosexual behavior and still be gay...then you can engage in homosexual behavior and still be str8...behavior is not always consistent with ones actual sexual attractions, though we might like to think it is,...

but it ends up there are far to many people who choose to do things outside their attractions, for many different reasons,...some are driven to by these childhood experiences, others have more deliberate reasons....

here are a few reasons Ive heard why some str8 men (who Ive personally known) intentionally have sex with other men.....drugs, money, attention, lack of an easy female partner,..death of a female partner, feeling sexually inadequate with females, and because its taboo,...

over the years Ive heard all these reasons....some might be excuses, some not....but who am i to judge....i accept them at their face value...just like i would accept the reasons why many homosexuals manage to get married have kids and stay in their heterosexual relationships.

Not judging is one of the greatest gifts one person can give another. It is one I would rather have than most anything else anyone might think that I need.

Gay, straight, bi, curious or whatever. The common denominator is we are here to heal. I would say the second is maybe to help a few others do the same along the way? The third? Perhaps to laugh here and there along the way.

Those are my three...anybody got any others?

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