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lynchmob, now that you know the good feeling of being envaluated in such a manner, it is hoped that you will begin to use this same approach in respecting others and restrain yourself from bad mouthing the g/b/t constituency here in future postings.

it goes without saying that it be would highly appreciated if all persons using this site for recovery would follow the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. [including me!]

thanks for your consideration,

ron

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i think it's natural mechanism when trying to manage painful thoughts, to try to build ourselves up by putting others down.

i know i did that for many years with my family. i constantly criticized them because they were emotionally incapacitated, and just dealt with their pain by dismissing it. since i could not get the resolution i needed, i obsessive compulsively picked at it like a scab and kept the wound alive. [just realized this yesterday, and no longer have a need to be accusatory toward them any longer, so i've let go that obsession].

unfortunately, until i came to the understanding and forgiveness, i had no other choice but to keep repeating my bemoaning them.

i guess the point i want to stress is that we never get larger by trying to make others smaller. we just shrink, too.

live and learn, eh?

all the best,

ron

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Yeah, I went through the persistent teasing and bullying bit through most of elementary, middle, and high school, but it damaged me by far the worst in elementary and middle school. If you talk to people about teasing like that, you find it's fairly common factor in any kind of obsessive sexual thought pattern.

Also, don't be so quick to automatically say you have OCD. OCD tends to jump around to lots of different things, whereas this particular problem is likely a reaction to all the anxiety you feel surrounding this issue. There are many different anxiety disorders, and many of them have similar symptoms. Obsessive/intrusive thoughts are among those symptoms. But until you get in to see a shrink and get evaluated, don't be too quick to self diagnose. I do certainly see some parallels between you and me though, difference being a lot of what's happening to you now as an adult in a professionals world happened to me as a kid in school. I think if that happened to me now I'd be a whole hell of a lot more pissed off, so I understand how angry you are at the situation.

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Good thinking, wise words


Mike