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#303745 - 09/22/09 07:44 PM shame
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, guys.

I had a huge light bulb go off in my soul last night.

I have been holding onto the shame my abuser had when he was raping me and torturing me. By keeping his secret I was keeping my own shame alive.

I have been frightened of children due to the shame.

I have been coming to terms with: my own place in life, my own sexuality, keeping my friendships alive, being present 100% of the time, my wanting to be protective and nurturing of children in a good way, and last night not accepting others transference of their feelings about my life.

The bottom line is I feel so much lighter in my heart, soul and mind.

I owe a lot to you all for helping me sort out my confusion.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#303748 - 09/22/09 08:05 PM Re: shame [Re: DJsport]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Try reading through John Bradshaw's book HEALING THE SHAME THAT BINDS YOU, followed by SELF ESTEEM, by Matthew McKay, PH.D. Both books are usually available at any major bookstore like Border's or Barnes & Noble. Dealing with our shame then beginning to take chances and working to recover our self-esteem and self-confidence is the road out of where we have been.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#303773 - 09/22/09 10:57 PM Re: shame [Re: Trucker51]
Jaifian Offline


Registered: 05/26/09
Posts: 220
Loc: washington state, USA
So glad to hear, DJ! That's a huge breakthrough for a survivor to make! Shame has a way of making comebacks, but I think once you have seen through it's facade, it can never be the same again.



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#303911 - 09/23/09 10:20 PM Re: shame [Re: Jaifian]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi.

Thanks Jaifian. Your congratulations means alot to me. It means so much.

Trucker You have told me before about the book.

It is truly enlightening to know the shame I have carried has kept from lots of things like self-forgiveness, loving others, being present, and being there for myself and others.

I can be authentic now.

Jaifian I must say you helped me to gain valuable insight.

I hope it is ok to state names or alias when speaking in good tones.

Many others have helped me here as well. Out of fear that I have possibly violated some rule I will refrain from using anymore names here and JUST SAY THANKS guys.

Shame is no longer my companion and belongs to those that deserve it.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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