I had a huge light bulb go off in my soul last night.
I have been holding onto the shame my abuser had when he was raping me and torturing me. By keeping his secret I was keeping my own shame alive.
I have been frightened of children due to the shame.
I have been coming to terms with: my own place in life, my own sexuality, keeping my friendships alive, being present 100% of the time, my wanting to be protective and nurturing of children in a good way, and last night not accepting others transference of their feelings about my life.
The bottom line is I feel so much lighter in my heart, soul and mind.
I owe a lot to you all for helping me sort out my confusion.
Live to your fullest potential
Never make someone a priority if your only an option