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#301856 - 09/05/09 10:08 PM Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Shawn Hornbeck's story featured tonight on NBC's 48 hours

Correction: CBS not NBC

With Ben Owneby

Allen

pufferfish whistle





Edited by pufferfish (09/05/09 10:30 PM)
Edit Reason: CBS not NBC

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#301859 - 09/05/09 10:52 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: pufferfish]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
You can watch it online: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=5290464n&tag=related;photovideo



Edited by JustScott (09/06/09 12:35 AM)

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#301999 - 09/07/09 12:27 AM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: JustScott]
pufferfish Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I think Shawn is a hero.

My hat's off to you, Shawn.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#302010 - 09/07/09 01:31 AM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: pufferfish]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, Guys.

Shawn if you come here - know you are a hero.

You are a survivor.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#302043 - 09/07/09 12:18 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: DJsport]
Hauser Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Allen?

Why do you consider him a hero? People survive tragedies, assaults, accidents, and disasters every day. This alone makes them heroic?

Could you elaborate a little on this please?


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#302045 - 09/07/09 12:37 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: Hauser]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
I've got a lot of respect for Shawn. As he said, he's a survivor. He's working hard to have a normal life on the heels of such an abnormal and horrific 4.5 years. He'll most likely do well because he's got such a tremendous support network around him.

Ultimately the choice is his. You Go, Shawn!!!

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#302046 - 09/07/09 12:43 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: Hauser]
didi Offline


Registered: 07/12/08
Posts: 165
Loc: USA
Hello All!

I too believe that Shawn is a hero. I found this definition...

http://www.123helpme.com/preview.asp?id=37481

A couple things that really sticks out are:

Quote:
They also endure much resistance, hardship, and danger. Often the hero learns valuable lessons about survival and self-reliance. Not only do heroes teach valuable lessons they give a child a sense of belonging. To a child, a hero is an invincible person who will change the world.


Listening to Shawn's interview will change the way many young survivors cope with their recovery. He his an inspiration with his will to survive and the courage to carry on. (as are all survivors) That in my eyes, is a HERO.

I consider my Son a hero for many reasons, his strength,courage, and the need he felt to protect me when his perps threatened to kill me if he told....

He has the courage to attend Therapy once a week, deal with his Vision Issues, flashbacks, triggers and so on. That is VERY heroic, all survivors are heroes to me..



Take care,

Didi

_________________________
Raising children who have been loaned to us for a brief moment outranks every other responsibility!

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#302050 - 09/07/09 01:40 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: didi]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Thanks for sharing the link to view this online Scott.

This story is utterly shocking and inspiring. Of course it is impossible to determine from a television interview but it looks to me that Shawn has been able to suppress the horrific ordeal he went through. That's probably the best thing for him and his family right now. I do feel for him though, for the long term effects. I hope and pray that as they come up that he is able to deal and confront them in a healthy manner.

I think that after seeing this program, most people, especially those unfamiliar with the effects of CSA, will come away thinking that this being "the miracle in Missouri", Shawn has been able to resume a normal life. While I don't dismiss the miraculous nature of Shawn's rescue, I think Shawn has a very rough road ahead of him and my heart goes out to him.

Good program though. Shawn's courage is inspiring. I cried through it.

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#302055 - 09/07/09 02:26 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: Barkabus]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Thank you very much for sharing this pufferfish.

I watched it and can't really say much of anything. I was traveling a lot when it all happened and rather studiously avoided hearing about it at the time to be honest. His progress is truly amazing. What struck me was when the interviewer asked him about his greatest fear, his answer was "not being understood." There are certainly more a than a few of us here who know exactly what that young man is saying, and he said it to the world right there. Yep, that's a hero.

sono

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#302085 - 09/07/09 08:21 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: sono]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Two things struck me in Shawn's story that directly relate to all us:

His courage - he never gave up just like we have NOT given up. Courage to be is living through a terrible moment/event

His bravery - for being a teen and having to answer the question "why did you not tell" and his answer "others will judge me and ask that question. We all know why he did not tell - fear of death or more severe punishment. He faced his captor and is now facing his own reality. Bravery is living beyond courage and facing reality.

The question above is "why is Shawn a hero?" I think we are all HEROES. Shawn is a hero to me because he went public and answered some deep questions about male sexual abuse.

Peace and great healing to all,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#302089 - 09/07/09 08:38 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: DJsport]
pufferfish Offline
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Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: DJsport
The question above is "why is Shawn a hero?" I think we are all HEROES. Shawn is a hero to me because he went public and answered some deep questions about male sexual abuse.


Yes, that is the thought. I think there really are many heroes on this site. That is my genuine feeling. I don't know everybody here, but I am deeply impressed by the stories of many that I have read.

Shawn was propelled into the limelight through no choice of his own. He has held his composure in this limelight. It's probably not something I could have done.

Specifically, I think he helped out our collective purpose and image. It was clearly stated on the program several times that he was sexually and physically abused. This helps the public awareness of the nature of ongoing child sexual abuse of males.

He suffered a lot, as a lot of you guys here have. I deeply respect you for this. I wish him my blessings as I do for all you guys who have gone through equally bad stuff.

For all you guys ((((heros))))

Allen

pufferfish whistle




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#302103 - 09/07/09 10:14 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: pufferfish]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
The link provided on this thread, at least for me, only shows the trailer of the program, but not the program, does it suppose to show the whole program?

I also wish Shawn the best on his journey through life and with his continuing recovery. I hope those who are closest to him continue to provide him with the support he deserves.

I agree that there are many heroes on this site, i have known this for a long time, for proof, look at Michaels (M3) avatar picture! Now that's cool!



Lewis

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#302107 - 09/07/09 10:35 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: king tut]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
I saw the whole program myself. The very first link I posted was just a preview, but I edited it to go to the full program.


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#302111 - 09/07/09 10:48 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: JustScott]
king tut Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
thanks, it's working fine for me now all the way!

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#302114 - 09/07/09 11:26 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
In the program Shawn says that he doesn't feel any anger, that he hasn't at any stage felt anger. The interviewer has a good point that anger is very much a real and perhaps necessary stage in the 'letting go' process.

(When i think about my journey, although chronologically i didn't allow myself to feel straight away, when i did allow myself to feel anger that felt like my begining- so in many ways i see the anger stage as the first real stage of recovery, the primary basics of it, which can then get smashed apart or whatever you want to constructively do with it- so his lack of this expression baffles me if he has been working with therapists who traditionally are all about expression, in my opinion)

I have met the anger stage a few times, i mean, recovery is like that, it is a rollercoaster and it is not linear. But it is good, because i've found that processing from the anger stage has been huge for me. Some of my biggest steps have been thanks to allowing myself to feel that anger and then being able to work from it. To be completely truthful to myself and to then direct my energies positively, and very importantly in the right direction.

Unfortunately everything i see in the program, although admittedly we don't see much because Shawn is doing this for a TV program and wants to seem well adjusted, doesn't tell me that he has REALLY processed everything. Of course, who the hell am i to make comments on somebody elses recovery. I respect him for the work that he has done, but again i repeat my previous hope that the people closest to him stick by him in what i think is a continuing journey of recovery.

I do understand, though, that maybe anger truthfully wasn't the emotion that he feels, for any number of reasons. And you can ask, should he be angry? he certainly has a right to be angry, and maybe the fact that he isn't angry just underlines a complexity that he will need to work on as he grows.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#302126 - 09/08/09 02:14 AM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: king tut]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
Shawn's website:

http://www.shawnhornbeck.com

Unfortunately the message board/forum had to be shut down due to the amount of hurtful misinformation it has attracted.

Also, another website devoted to the safe recovery of missing children inspired by Shawn Hornbeck and Ben Ownby's horrific ordeal at the hands of Mike Devlin whose sentence is 72 life terms plus 170 years.

http://www.shawnhornbeckfoundation.com

What has come from this is that some are questioning why Shawn did not attempt escape, inferring that he was, of all things, complicit in his ongoing kidnapping. How, DAMNIT, how a boy who is abduction by a monstrous perpetrator who had repeatedly threatened his life could there be anyone who would be suspicious of Shawn's motives? Funny how no one is doing this with Jaycee Lee Dugard. This just shows how little ground we've made with society regarding male sexual abuse.

48 Hours Interview question, Shawn's greatest fear: Not being understood. Most grateful for: Having a loving family.



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#302142 - 09/08/09 10:58 AM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: Barkabus]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Originally Posted By: Barkabus
What has come from this is that some are questioning why Shawn did not attempt escape, inferring that he was, of all things, complicit in his ongoing kidnapping. How, DAMNIT, how a boy who is abduction by a monstrous perpetrator who had repeatedly threatened his life could there be anyone who would be suspicious of Shawn's motives? Funny how no one is doing this with Jaycee Lee Dugard. This just shows how little ground we've made with society regarding male sexual abuse.


Barkabus,

I totally agree with you about society not being very far along regarding the affects of male sexual abuse. I was very upset at the media and the general population and the neighbors of Shawns when they stated "why did you not tell?". WTF - I thought. Here is a boy age 11 being "abducted", beaten, sexually assaulted and threatened with death. Even an adult would have trouble dealing with this but, a child/boy OMG get a clue.

But, on a positive note - maybe Shawns story going public which is a "shocker" the issue of male sexual abuse will take hold. Maybe the affects is has on children and the families will take hold.

If we can I would be a good idea to flood the media with our comments.

Lets stand up and be noticed. I know it will be tough. There is a comment space just below the video.

Peace,
DJ





Edited by DJsport (09/08/09 11:44 AM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#302148 - 09/08/09 12:33 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: DJsport]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
While I think later in Life Shawn will need to revisit all this, and I think one day anger will come, he has two things that I know many of us here wish we could have had:

1. He's getting therapy NOW. Not 15/20 years from now after craploads of issues and mistakes have been made because of what happened.

2. He's got an AWESOME family. Loving. Supportive. I mean they spent every penny they had to find him. They know enough to let him open up at his own rate. They know he'll share when HE is ready.

I had a hard time telling my parents at 33. At 17??? Fuck that, it wouldn't have happened. Emotionally I had no support at all. Telling was impossible. Shawn was in an environment where his only support was himself. He kept himself safe. His only options were 1. Stay or 2. Die. While those who have never been there don't see it that way, it's just that, they haven't been there.

Shawn has lots of support, which I think is awesome. I know that Craig wasn't the only one who left this job and devoted himself completely to finding Shawn. There were others. They're all good people. Definitely a group of people to be thankful for.


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#302168 - 09/08/09 02:24 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: JustScott]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, all.

There is a comment section below the video in the link below (which was copied by Justscott earlier this post) that I made comments.

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=5290464n&tag=related;photovideo

I believe we ALL are experiencing what Shawn is going through. I believe in order to stop the abuse we all need to voice ourselves and NOT be silent anymore.

Peace to you all,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#302189 - 09/08/09 05:11 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: DJsport]
J.R. Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/07
Posts: 307
Loc: United States
I just watched the whole interview/show online. I think it is amazing how Shawn is able to come into the limelight, and share his story, which is the story of many, many boys and men. It is not just his story in and of itself, but the story that says we need to be aware of this evil, and take all necessary steps to eliminate it whenever and wherever possible.

Thank you Shawn.

J.R.

_________________________
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. -Helen Keller

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#302208 - 09/08/09 06:21 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: J.R.]
ComicBookGuy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 443
Loc: London, England
If ComicBookGuy makes a comment on that story, it isn't me, it was already taken - had to go with SurvivorCBG to register, but made my comment in support. Let's all try to get some good views in, depending on how long they host it for.



Edited by ComicBookGuy (09/08/09 06:23 PM)
_________________________
- CBG

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#302224 - 09/08/09 09:09 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: ComicBookGuy]
zb420 Offline


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 251
...



Edited by zb420 (11/27/09 06:30 PM)
Edit Reason: sorry

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#302231 - 09/08/09 09:22 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: zb420]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
JustScott, your comment caught my attention.

You mentioned the fact that he (not of his own choosing, but because everyone KNOWS anyway) isn't going to keep this some dark secret for 15, 20, 30 years, only to manifest itself later in a dysfunctional life of broken relationships, drug abuse, and countless other failed coping strategies that we at MS have become so adept at later in our lives. He's getting help NOW. In this one way, a forced disclosure, so to speak, the damage is at least minimized, instead of being compounded with bad/harmful choices that survivors tend to make in their life after the abuse.

Another thing about Shawn; his demeanor, his attitude. He.....doesn't carry himself as someone bitter and angry. Amazing how the human spirit can transcend the worst transgressions, isn't it?


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#302332 - 09/09/09 02:35 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: Hauser]
jacobtk Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 527
Well, I would imagine that is just an extension of the "face" he had to wear during his abuse. He was apparently successful enough at convincing the people around him that when they saw the missing person's notice of him on TV he convinced them that it wasn't him. So it might just seem like he is well adjusted while he may be very bitter and angry inside. I'm not saying he is, just that we can't really tell.

_________________________
Every day I die again, and again I’m reborn/Every day I have to find the courage/To walk out into the street/With arms out/Got a love you can’t defeat/Neither down nor out/There’s nothing you have that I need/I can breathe/Breathe now - U2

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#302337 - 09/09/09 03:08 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: jacobtk]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell

I agree with jacok.. just cuz he can smile in front of a camera doesnt mean hes not bitter n angry inside.. i wouldnt share tthose feelings with a couple million strangers either

_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#302356 - 09/09/09 08:30 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: boylikeme]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca


This was a powerful film and I really am grateful that Shawn had the courage to to speak about happen to him at the hands Mr Devlin. He is a remarkable young man as are the guys here at M/S. His statement of how Mr Devlin told him that he had just been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Resolves him of any blame or responsibility for what happened to him. Which is also true for the rest of us survivors. It was Devlins behaviors that are shameful and not how Shawn was able to cope with what was happening to him.
I went home to my grandmother after everyday of my abuse and was incapable of speaking out for help until 20 yrs later. Your abuser and abuse are to difficult to deal with as a child . And perps are masters at isolating their victims emotionally if not physically.
Shawn is lucky to have such caring and supportive parents. They will be a real positive force as he grows up and deal with the trauma of his abuse. None of us comes away unscatched but with support we can learn to deal and overcome the negative coping behaviors that we learn from our abuse. I was hurt by some people whom should have protected me but I am not damage goods.
And I can live a healthy and happy life in spite of what happened in the past if i so choose too.

Shawn told the world that he is a survivor and we are too. I am proud to call him my brother in recovery.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#302362 - 09/09/09 09:36 PM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: michael banks]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
There are some really good statements made above about Shawn. And they are supportive. I am glad of this.

I can't help adding another statement.

I was also held captive by my abuser at age 12. I was taken out of bed while asleep and of course without my consent. I awakened nude and being tied to a bed in a different location. The remainder of that 2 week boy scout camp experience was filled with sexual abuse, much of it while I was tied down. It included torture and continual threats to me to "never tell." With a knife held to my bare chest, I was told that if I ever told he would find me and kill me. There was torture with the explanation: 'This is what it feels like to die'. If you tell you will die. There were other gross things as described in my pufferfish story part 5. I witnessed what I believed to be the killing of another boy. I was told the same would or could happen to me.

Still another part of my story relates to Shawn Hornbeck's abuse. If my memory serves me well, there were days in which I was not physically restrained. I was mentally captive in the same way Shawn was. As has been pointed out, abusers know how to terrorize their young subjects to the point they are held mentally captive. That captivity remained for many years after the 2-week camp terminated. There was some kind of fear and terror which was drilled into me which I have only recently begun to feel free of.

When I later remembered this abuse when I was in my 40's, I felt really bad and ashamed that there were days where I was not physically restrained. Why didn't I escape? Why didn't I try to get some help? Actually When the abuse first started I did go to the camp doctor and told him. Nothing happened as a result in fact the abuse got much worse. Where could I go?

Allen

pufferfish whistle




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#302416 - 09/10/09 11:46 AM Re: Shawn Hornbeck tonight on NBC 48 hours 9/5/09 [Re: pufferfish]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, Allen.

You said "where could I go?". To me that is the ultimate question and terror I connect with.

I am really "feeling" or empathizing with the affects of being "captive". The helpless terrified feeling that we do not know what to do with or slow to respond to.

Thanks for sharing your story.

I believe the media is getting it albeit not as fast as we would like.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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