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#30085 - 06/22/04 07:13 PM The hot tub cure
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
So, I'm on a like 'working vacation' this week. And the friend I'm with, he said last night, get in the hot tub, it'll help your body feel better. (I'm always sore after long plane trips). I've always been totally scared of water, to point where I only took showers, never baths, until few months ago. Only other time I ever tried a hot tub was about six months ago, when I was fine for about 2 minutes, then total freak out. Not sure what make me decide to try it again. But I went in it last night, and it DID feel good! And I am sitting there thinking, I can't believe I am here sitting in a hot tub, me! Wow, maybe I am cured!? (Or at least mildly sauteed and simmered!) ok, so I am sure it will take more then to get in a hot tub to cure me, but it is nice to be overcoming another fear. And, I feel guilty a little for this, but I'm enjoying myself here. I've been able to practice well for the first time in months, because I can mostly breathe. The food is good. The hot tub is nice. Lot of nice looking girls in bikinis! ;\) (None that compare to Susanna of course, but how would I know that if I don't look??) I am enjoying myself, but feeling a bit guilty to be having a good time. And I am still holding some my anger, because next week I will be home to visit family, and I will see 'them'. And I will check on the report we made, see what they are doing with it. So I want to keep some anger for that. But for right now, down to hot tub for little while.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#30086 - 06/22/04 07:17 PM Re: The hot tub cure
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
What a great personal victory Leosha--great news! ENJOY.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#30087 - 06/22/04 07:56 PM Re: The hot tub cure
guy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 236
Loc: nc
leosha,

congratulations on succeeding in yet another milestone. to some, maybe not a big deal, for us and myself- when i do something good, i never in the past gave myself credit for it, now i am working on that.

as for looking, if you are just doing that, that sounds o.k. to me too. acting out like i have is not o.k. if we love someone and someone trusts us. but we are not normal all the time, so we make mistakes and must move on.

great to hear about the hot tub. i was in one yesterday and today, felt good but i had no
issues about them before. i suppose a barracks dorm would make me squeemish or freaking- that's where my abuser took me for so long when i was just 10.

take care, good news!, guy


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#30088 - 06/23/04 02:47 AM Re: The hot tub cure
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Oh, my God, look who's sitting in a hot tub!!
Thought that I was reading another's report.
Well, maybe I am. Someone who is changing and growing and becoming, the man.
Congratulations, Leosha, so glad you're beginning to enjoy some of the simple pleasures of life. Don't forget those gals are world famous back walker massagers, as well. OK, you don't have to do that, just enjoy the water, it is enough.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#30089 - 06/24/04 07:21 PM Re: The hot tub cure
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
"girls in bikini's" - hot tubs - life isn't so bad Leo' \:D

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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