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#300799 - 08/28/09 04:43 PM ignored
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell

so im in chat right now n im talkin to ppl n everythings okay n we are just having a nice chat.. nothing triggering or anything.. n suddenly this window pops up n tells me im being ignored..

being ignored by someone whos not even talkin

n everyone keeps tellin me i did nothing wrong.. but im an insecure neglected kid n this ignore thing hurts like ive just been hit..

so i dont care if ppl dont wanna talk to me... but why does it have to tell me at all??

this sucks

_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#300816 - 08/28/09 07:40 PM Re: ignored [Re: boylikeme]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Hi Friend,

Look at it this way. If someone is ignoring you and you've not done anything to warrant being ignored they are probably acting out of their own insecurity rather than anything you've said or done. In other words it's their problem stemming from their own fears, triggers, unresolved issues in their life. You can hold your head high knowing that it's NOT you.

Having said that, yeah, it hurts to be treated badly by someone else, but if you look at it from the viewpoint that they must be hurting pretty badly themselves to have treated someone badly it can help change your perspective.

I don't think there's a way in the software to keep that notice from being sent to you. Would be nice if there was tho.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#300825 - 08/28/09 08:50 PM Re: ignored [Re: WalkingSouth]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
boylikeme,

I am sorry someone hurt you - intentionally or unintentionally. It does suck to have those feelings of rejection. In instances like this in real life I tend to overanalyze and put junk on myself. What a waste of time. There are a million reasons why this may have happened and not a one could have anything to do with you.

Instead of concentrating on one person here think on all the ones who are gettting to know you here and care about you. I have seen you in the chat and you are well received there. But we often do not do that, do we? I can have a great day with many good things happen and one person with one comment can wreck me. But I fight that.

Don't let one thing here bring you down. You are surrounded by positive support here and well liked by many - including me. Remember that one thing is not everything.

My best to you!


Daryl



Edited by prisonerID (08/28/09 09:12 PM)
_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#300843 - 08/29/09 02:04 AM Re: ignored [Re: prisonerID]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
Hi Boy,

Good response by Daryl and WS. Had all to do with that person and nothing about you. One good thing is that you said something about it and shared your concern. That is a very good thing and something we are all encouraged to do here. Good that you took the risk. And, as yu can see, others responded to you and hopefully what they said helped.

Glad that your here and taking care of yourself.

Ron


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#300846 - 08/29/09 03:15 AM Re: ignored [Re: prisonerID]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi.

I have had this message come up about someone ignoring me.

I think it makes sense for the person who is doing the ignoring to get the message. This same person who ignored boylikeme above ignored me and someone else at the same time.

John and Daryl - I understand your statement about looking to others for support BUT please understand that maybe your further along in your "recovery". It is devasting to be rejected especially when your talking to other survivors and have had to keep it a secret and be quiet for so many years.

Also, in life we should be able to know why someone is ignoring us. And that is not happening here. I think this is a disservice in a way.

Anyway, I am done venting.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#300848 - 08/29/09 04:03 AM Re: ignored [Re: DJsport]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell

im sorry. i dunno why i freaked out like that n it is so embarassing but when that window popped up i just couldnt think anymore n i was so upset i even had to leave chat.

im such a freak.. shouldnt be crying bout being ignored by someone i dont even know.

think im just having a bad week here.. think i lost the only real friend i had made so far n i dunno why..

guess im just mr. insecurity for now

_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#300853 - 08/29/09 05:29 AM Re: ignored [Re: boylikeme]
b869 Offline


Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 767
Loc: Philippines
blm,

A lot of people are insecure about something don't worry about it to much.

Sorry about having a bad week. I know how hard it if losing a friend..

sorry I'm not much help...

Marvin

_________________________

When thing get complicated go back to simplicity

Harvey Fierstein
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

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#300856 - 08/29/09 06:49 AM Re: ignored [Re: b869]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
hey BLM,

No, no, I'm sorry you can't be Mr. Insecurity...there are nearly 7000 members of this site most of whom are much older than you all fighting for that title!!! lol As a matter of fact, I remember holding that title for quite some time myself.

Scheiss week (less of an ugly word in a foreign language), scheiss chat message, scheiss alles...OK, well you've got many more weeks in which you can make things can look up.

I don't think you want advice today, just an ear, which is totally cool...so that's enough from me.

sono,

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#300924 - 08/30/09 03:46 AM Re: ignored [Re: sono]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
BLM,

I also got someone in chat that chooses to ignore me and everytime he comes into the chat I get that stupid meessage that he is ignoring me. But I don't really give a shit. For me it is just a reminder not to waste my breathe or time talking to him. If he wants to isolate himself in that manner more power to him, I have better things to do with my time.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#300929 - 08/30/09 05:49 AM Re: ignored [Re: michael banks]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Originally Posted By: michael banks
If he wants to isolate himself in that manner more power to him,


Michael - the above statement is hitting me like a brick wall.

He told me and I believed him that he needed me. OMG!!!

I have been keeping myself "On the hook". My own being is validated on being needed. I have know this and have been "working" on it.

I know where the underlying message is coming from.

Peace,
DJ



Edited by DJsport (08/30/09 12:06 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#300956 - 08/30/09 03:01 PM Re: ignored [Re: DJsport]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Painful experiences can help us grow and see why they hurt us in the first place. It is not a nice path but can be a growing and healing time for us. Our reactions to others and the feelings we have can help us learn about us. And do some healing on top of it.

_________________________
Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#300963 - 08/30/09 03:51 PM Re: ignored [Re: boylikeme]
boylikeme Offline


Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 546
Loc: hell
rockin out to this song for 2 days kinda helped..hehe



_________________________
Everybody’s screaming - I try to make a sound but no one hears me (Untitled - Simple Plan)

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#300967 - 08/30/09 04:33 PM Re: ignored [Re: boylikeme]
zb420 Offline


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 251
^^ awesome song^^


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#300995 - 08/30/09 10:23 PM Re: ignored [Re: DJsport]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Michael,

The isolation is so damaging.

It is happening more and more here. OUCH!!!!

I cant do this.

DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#301006 - 08/30/09 11:42 PM Re: ignored [Re: DJsport]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3417
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
an important thing to do when someone is ignoring you is to reach out to the friends that you do have - so much as survivors we place all the blame on things upon ourselves - but... sometimes people do things that make no sense to us and we hav'nt done anything to cause them to do what they've done - a very important part of recovery is learning that it's NOT always our fault...

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#301184 - 09/01/09 12:17 PM Re: ignored [Re: TJ jeff]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Originally Posted By: TJ jeff
recovery is learning that it's NOT always our fault...


So, how do I determine if it was NOT my fault if I cant talk about it with those who are ignoring me?

I know of one that I happy to be ignored by but, the other is sad for me. Both, I would like to come to some kind of resolution.


Peace,
DJ





Edited by DJsport (09/02/09 05:09 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

Top
#301333 - 09/02/09 12:55 PM Re: ignored [Re: DJsport]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
DJ,

Sometimes in relationships we have to just move on and accept that not all things can be resolved. Or do we have to accept responsiblity when these things happen. Not everybody is going to like you or you them.

Mike

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#301360 - 09/02/09 05:08 PM Re: ignored [Re: michael banks]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Doesnt matter. But, I do care.

I get it just move on. Moving ON.



Edited by DJsport (09/02/09 05:11 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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