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#300597 - 08/26/09 12:54 PM First T session coming up...any thoughts?
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Hey guys,

The subject line just about says it all...I'm having my first introductory session with a T next week. I do know that he is a specialist in the field so that puts me greatly at ease, but still...I'd be happy to hear what anyone has to say particularly as regards preparation both literal and emotional.

thanks,

sono,

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#300607 - 08/26/09 01:47 PM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: sono]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6811
Loc: USA
sono,

Sounds good:

1.) Take a short list of the things that you are having trouble with. Give him a copy and keep a copy for yourself.

2.) Print out the 3 items you have given links to above. Your story. You will save your T and yourself time and get better results by taking in some printed material. Let them put it in a file but ask if it will be kept confidential first.

Allen

pufferfish whistle





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#300640 - 08/26/09 10:32 PM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: pufferfish]
sedanman Offline


Registered: 05/28/09
Posts: 43
Loc: Northeast
I have found that I can write the most horrible things down and have them affect me much less severely that when I read outloud that which I have written. It may be a time saver to bring you written story to therapy but it may be very theraputic for youto actually read your story to your therapist. I was asked to write a letter to "Little Paul" to try and comfort him and offer him protection from further harm. I wrote this letter with relative ease, I cried like a baby when I read it to a picture of myself as a child. It was very powerful to feel these things. Therapy can be painful but the empowerment you get from the pain is worth it.


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#300647 - 08/27/09 02:46 AM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: sedanman]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Get there early, because getting out of the car is sometimes tough. See if there is a back door so that you don't have to go in the front door. Perhaps see if you can arrange for your therapist or his receptionist to meet you in the parking lot. Once you get inside you should ask your therapist some questions about his therapy modality. Yes, a list of what is bothering you might help break the "ice" a little bit.

It took me 9 months of learning to trust my first therapist enough to open up a little at a time. It took another 6 months for me to develop some confidence in him. And then it came time for my first in-person support group, where it took me three different tries in three weeks to actually get out of my car and into the front door of the old downtown Cleveland YMCA.

Wish you luck and enough confidence to get out of your car and make it into the front door on the first try.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#300722 - 08/27/09 10:35 PM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: Trucker51]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1959
Sono,

I congratulate you on taking this step. This is brave, but it really does help. I don't have a whole lot of advice other than to tell you that if this guy is a specialist in abuse issues he has heard many difficult stories so you are not burdening him with yours.

Eric


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#300726 - 08/27/09 11:07 PM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: ericc]
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
This is a great step forward in your recovery sono. I am excited for you.

During my first T appointment I gave him a copy of all my journals plus I read him my story. This helped set the stage for the LONG road ahead.

Also, I use a voice recorder to record all my T appointments. This has been invaluable to me because I dissociate so much during my appointments. At $2.60 a minute ($130/50 min.) I don't want to miss anything and I miss A LOT, sometimes 50% or more during my appointments.

Emotionally, anything you feel like you shouldn't discus is probably a good indication you should. Don't pressure yourself to share anything you're not ready to but ultimately, as you begin developing trust for your T, it does your recovery best by being as upfront and open as you can, as soon as you can.

I wish you well sono.

Mike

_________________________
My Story

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#300859 - 08/29/09 07:47 AM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: Barkabus]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
hey guys,

You're guys are the greatest! Thanks for the wonderful ideas and voices of experience. Sedanman, your idea of reading what I've written out loud is about the most frightening thought I've considered in some time. I'm not up to trying it even by myself yet, but I sense it could be a useful way to work up some emotion about it, or more simply put - cry. This is something I find myself doing all the time in varying degrees when reading the posts of others, but when thinking about myself, the walls are still kind of impenetrable if you know what I mean.

On the very positive side, I don't sense any apprehension about going or discussing everything. I did a dry run with some guys on chat a few days ago and had a big disclosing session with the male I am closest to, my brother-in-law last week. He was great as I knew he would be..but that doesn't mean it was fun.

I'll be reporting in afterwards, and plan on following all the advice you guys have given.

thanks again more than I can say,

sono

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#300867 - 08/29/09 11:36 AM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: sono]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
Hi Sono,

A couple of thoughts about your upcoming session. Amazing the depth of your preparation, should quite literally blow the person away. He will love it as most new clients would not come so prepared.

I took occasion to speak to my wife who has been a very successful marriage and family therapist for the last 20 or so years about what she would recommend a person do before seeing her.

Her response was to make sure you feel comfortable with the person and you feel like they can help you. Check out their website.

Don't say too much to soon as it might leave you feeling extremely vulnerable and anxious.

Goal of therapy is to learn how to trust yourself and get connected to you and not give your power away to someone else, even a professional. Get good at following your instincts and trust them.

If what they say to you "feels right", then it is a good sign.

Does it feel to you that they have very good boundaries? A good therapist will have excellent boundaries.

That is as much as I could get as she is packing for a holiday.

I hope you have a successful session.

Ron


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#300936 - 08/30/09 11:03 AM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: Barney]
ComicBookGuy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 443
Loc: London, England
First session preparation? Not only would I say get there early but also clear your evening afterwards and go and do something you enjoy to relax and load up your Car CD/Walkman with your favourite OR most relaxing music.

At the end of my first session my head felt like I'd been inhaling menthol for over an hour, so I deliberately took the long way home by bus and train, rather than the direct Underground subway.

Also, the writing stuff down gets another vote here, I use a totally separate diary for therapy than the "I went here and did that" journal, the blank pages are the days I didn't want to deal but noting the breakthroughs have made a great record for me.

_________________________
- CBG

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#300979 - 08/30/09 06:17 PM Re: First T session coming up...any thoughts? [Re: ComicBookGuy]
claretblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 97
Loc: UK
You're a brave guy! I've been going nearly every week for over 2 yrs now, got an incredible amount out of it. I've taken the philosophy rightly or wrongly (after a few sessions of seeing how the therapist operated of course)that as I'm paying for therapy, and the therapist is usually spot on with his observations, whilst it might be uncomfortable saying something that needs to be said, its in my interests to say it. Fortunately, I knew quickly I could trust and warm to the guy..You'll have to guage that for yourself with trust issues etc. Be prepared as ComicBookGuy said to make sure you don't have a heavy evening afterward...All the best for your appointment..

_________________________
The more you're afraid of, the less you accomplish.

Taiwanese woman.

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