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In my opinion, they're a bunch of idiots. It's all about propaganda. Say any kind of bullshit in a way people find gratifying and they'll believe it. They all felt good about giving their pity to the pedophile, or future pedophile. It boosted their egos and made them feel as if they were being compassionate. When you attacked him, it looked like you were picking on a guy who never hurt anyone. (He's just TOYING with the idea of murdering a little boy's soul.)

In college, one of my friends confided in me that he had obsessive thoughts about a child in camp. He was working as a camp counselor. It was during the summer. I was unstable at the time, and hadn't even remembered my own abuse. I mailed him a letter stating that he needed to see a therapist, and that if he couldn't control his pedophile tendencies, he should KILL HIMSELF. As you can imagine, I seemed pretty crazy. In truth, I was both crazy and crazed when I wrote it. I could have gotten in trouble if he had presented it to a dean, or some other faculty member. I'm surprised that he didn't. He seemed to feed off pity. Maybe it's a common pedophile trait.

I still don't regret writing that letter. But situations such as these teach us that we have to control ourselves. Even though we may be right, our anger can blind us to the consequences. We're setting ourselves up to be vilified. As good as it might feel to speak the truth, as you can see, people aren't willing to be enlightened. So, my reply is of two sentiments. 1) Screw them. 2) Be careful about when you lash out.

But to be honest, I'm glad someone had the guts to give that sicko a reality check.

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Hey there brother zb420;

Glad to see you stood up for victims. You have ran across a common point of denial in our world... CSA/Incest is something that a lot of people would like to simply pretend doesn't exist... Kinda like avoiding eye contact with a street person, if I don't make eye contact the problem doesn't exist, even if I have family or friends who are on the street of verging on it. I can now empathize with this denial. you will hear the numbers 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 3 girls are survivors of unwanted sexual assaults... Dollars to donuts you struck pain points in some of your peers on that board. As for the person who disclosed his thoughts... I cannot know his heart, I know that I was terrified for decades due to a myth that because I was sexually abused I would also abuse (Vampire Sundrome Bullshit!!!), they could be a survivor terrified, confused and depressed. The abused are not doomed to abuse; however, abusers were very often abused themselves.

Some thoughts to ponder.

From my recovering soul with love, Wes

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hmmm.....

I'm wondering, Dan, why you have chosen the course of not reporting him? Does that not put you in danger of being ambivalent yourself? If I were the proud owner of such information I would not be keeping it to myself, but that's me I guess.

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That's the suckish part of our justice system, though there's a reason for it. Accusing someone without proof of a crime can be very damaging and would run rampant unless held in check somehow, yet that very same aspect is a shield for perpetrators. Many of them know how to work the system, too.

Still, there's a chance you could just provide an anonymous tip to law enforcement that they should watch him.

What you experienced is part of the backlash effect. I just read about it last night in the book, Victims No Longer by Mike Lew. There's a prevailing attitude that everyone should have warm and fuzzy feelings about everyone else, no matter what the circumstances and regardless of the repercussions it has on those who disagree.

The strange thing is you experienced backlash within a support group, the people one would expect to be the most understanding. I think we've all experienced backlash to some degree, and instead of focusing on the negativity, I would just chalk it up to ignorance and move on. If that's the attitude they're going to have, you wouldn't heal within that group as well as you could somewhere else. One door closes, another opens.

Peace.