Newest Members
Casey_SC, Xr2, clt, Lumpy, squeekinby
12372 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
drivejoepublic (44), eagle299 (43), H18 (21), JJJ (43), mariposaman (63), SevenTwoTwo76 (39), TexAgMan (37), waiter (44), wgwarch (55)
Who's Online
6 registered (TJ jeff, aniceguy, 4 invisible), 33 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12372 Members
74 Forums
63593 Topics
444250 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#298918 - 08/11/09 11:48 PM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: Disappointed]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
You should be careful here, this guy seems to be in a transitional period of some kind and sure his lifestyle choices are up to him including how he wants to dress and his personal preferences.

But i think it would be irresponsible of you to push him either way. He clearly needs some space- that is why he doesn't want you to meet his friends i think.

The fact that you are telling him to cut his hair this way or that way and he is complying is a bad sign, you shouldn't tell him those things that is up to him. You shouldn't be buying him nighties and then trying to get him to wear them either, even if he has expressed a desire for female clothing- that is being pushy.

This guy has emotional problems by what you describe and be careful not to manipulate him.

You also say that you like it when he is childlike. Seeming childlike at times is an abuse thing in itself, often i find myself feeling like a little kid again and that's not your play area. Messing with him when he is in that frame of mind is taking advantage of him.

I also don't want to break your heart, but it doesn't sound like this guy wants to be in a relationship with you. Not seriously.

You write as if you don't like this guy very much, his lies, being melodramatic, so what is it? you want permission to leave him?

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#298941 - 08/12/09 03:12 AM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: king tut]
GSH Offline


Registered: 07/30/09
Posts: 14
Hey Dissapointed,
I hear you asking for pointers regarding how to "date" a person with whom you know has been sexually abused...how to push past his personal, private horrors... how to gain control or leverage so you can enjoy his endearing child parts...

Is this correct? If his suffering was from a brain injury, and he, from time to time, acted in a feminine way or in a child- like fashion, would you be searching brain injury websites to find out ways around the affect of his injury? I don't understand this way of thinking. It seems to be lacking any depth or respect for his point of injury because it occured in a sexual arena.

You sound entertained with the dynamics in his life, not genuinely interested in his well-being. Perhaps I am missing something?

I have codependency issues that cloud my perspective so if I am in error or have offended you please let me know. I am trying to answer your post as honestly as I can.
Best regards
GSH


Top
#298952 - 08/12/09 06:00 AM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: GSH]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1993
Loc: durham, north england
I find this abrupt and sterriotypical cut off betwene "masculine" and "Feminine" quite worrying. see http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=297498#Post297498 for details.

Speaking as somone who has feminine traits which cause severe problems (particularly in relationships, making necessary first moves etc), I find the separation here rather disturbing.

if he himself is making this separation, and saying "I'm going to be like a girl today" or "I'm feeling masculine today" then it sounds like he doesn't know where he is and is working things out. If on the other had your making this separation Disappointent, ---- well it's up to you, but perhaps you should rethink your genda ideas a bit and what behaviour should go with both.

hair style is also no real indicator either, ----- I had a pony tale myself for a very long time which was nothing to do with genda, just a choice, ----- though i've cut it sinse it conflicts with my interest of performing on stage.


Top
#344325 - 11/06/10 11:51 AM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: DJsport]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
lll



Edited by Disappointed (12/19/10 08:46 PM)
_________________________
Female.

Top
#344327 - 11/06/10 12:00 PM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: dark empathy]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
lll



Edited by Disappointed (12/19/10 08:46 PM)
_________________________
Female.

Top
#344393 - 11/07/10 12:13 AM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: Disappointed]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 861
Loc: washington
Disappointed,

In my travels...I came to a place where I figured out that I had eroticized my abuse from my Jekyl/Hyde type abuser.

Alone in my thoughts...(while it/and because of...what was happening)...I began to feel more and more like a girl...(as my uncle was straight and married to my aunt).

The fact that I had an operation due to herniated testicles and a ton of ruined "O" (also while it was happening)...just reinforced what I was feeling.

I am no therapist...and am still working on trying to unravel and heal from when I was altered...

In the end...I truly believe there is a nut for every bolt...but see major red flags where only one alter wants to date you.


Boys Don't Cry (Plumb)

island

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

Top
#344437 - 11/07/10 07:03 PM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: 1islandboy]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
lll



Edited by Disappointed (12/19/10 08:46 PM)
_________________________
Female.

Top
#344440 - 11/07/10 07:29 PM Feeling like a girl [Re: 1islandboy]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
lll



Edited by Disappointed (12/19/10 03:56 PM)
_________________________
Female.

Top
#344728 - 11/10/10 03:44 PM Re: Feeling like a girl [Re: Disappointed]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 730
Loc: NJ
Disappointed...this thread and you sicken me.

Maybe I can search the web...and find you issues and then use them against you for my pleasure.


Sounds very close to a perp to me.

you are a sad example of a woman....and BTW he was ABUSED...not anything else you want to use with or without "".





Edited by Castle (11/10/10 03:50 PM)
Edit Reason: OP is an idiot and i have more to say
_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

Top
#344732 - 11/10/10 04:40 PM Re: Where Should I Post? [Re: Disappointed]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Disappointed

He seems to have two separate personalities, but I'd really call them very distinct moods. And when he's in his main mood, he's not interested in talking to me. He's masculine, and he would NEVER act like a girl. So, he ignores me. It's like, he's too good for his own female alter ego. I'm sure it bugs him he acts like this. He tells me that all the time. Says I should ignore that, because he's going to have issues no matter what I do.

You probably know you are describing multiple personality disorder, better known as DID.

Some guys who are DID have a girl personality (alter). They sometimes establish that as a coping mechanism to being abused. Then it becomes the way they expect sex to be.

He's used to having people treat him badly so you have encountered some of his defense mechanisms.

Originally Posted By: Disappointed

This might sound like "dating" issues, but I'm sure he has these issues because of his past.


Sometimes people who have been abused a lot will have developed a defense mechanism of being a "compulsive liar". They really don't understand how "truth" applies in situations.

Allen

pufferfish


Top
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.