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#2988 - 04/04/03 12:50 AM Can we go to far.........
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
I just found out that Woz is gone....
Did our last chat go too far......
I've stopped crying a little now
kinda like sitting here waiting for my new friend
who won't sit down with me anymore.........
can we go too far....
What a guy....
me kidding him each time............
about the time difference between here and there.
I'd always make it several days different just to be funny...........
he chided me about me being the, "one in every crowd."
his story about his memory of the deaf boy--him--on the beach, listening to the surf really got to me.
The next time that I talked with him in the chat room--------i signed off by saying that i was putting my hand over the heart of the boy on the beach and that i was taking the boy's hand and holding it against my heart as i was telling the boy that i loved him.
Woz became very quiet and thanked me for treasuring his memory.......
God, did I go too far.......
Take care of yourselves you guys-----some of you have taken places in my heart.you've become so important to me.......now i lay me down to sleep..........god did i go too far.

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#2989 - 04/04/03 04:47 AM Re: Can we go to far.........
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
Ivan you did nothing wrong my brother. I felt very bad because work made me work nights in stead of days I blame them for woz's passing. My wife had to remind me that even though their is alot of things we could have done but in the end it is woz's life and woz's decision to take his own life. We will miss him for a long time but we must never forget what he has given us. We had alot of good times together and I will never forget what he would tell us when we where leaving "journey well" I will always remember it and I do hope that he is finally journeying well for once in his life. I will miss him but never forget that all we tried to do was help him and in the end it is and was woz's choice to take his life.

Love you Ivan I am here for you just as the rest of the board members are.


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#2990 - 04/04/03 07:57 AM Re: Can we go to far.........
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
I feel a lot the same way...

Woz had posted something in the At Risk forum, sounding lonely and sad and scared... I replied to it, trying to comfort him, saying I understood. I really did... but I wish that I had e-mailed that instead, because he probably never saw the response. I wish I had e-mailed him and let him know he wasn't alone and give him hope... \:\( But I didn't and now he is gone...

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#2991 - 04/04/03 04:55 PM Re: Can we go to far.........
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Hey, Nathan, Puppy,
I want to thank you two for responding in the way that you have. I think that you two are also the youngest of us, are you not? I've got to be one of the most senior of this "class." I'm encouraged the way you guys have reached out to us "older" members.
But then, I guess, we're all pretty much the same age, dealing with the little, frightened boys that most of us are. Some of us have managed to grow a little older, with the help of therapists, friends, maybe a partner or two, and the guys, here. That includes you. Appreciate the insight that you have and don't be afraid to ask for help when you want or need it. You're a wonderful addition to this august group of guys. I might even feel open enough with them to go on a future retreat; geez, did I just say something about trust? Me?
Thanks again. Woz really struck something in me and I'm happy that I was able to share it.
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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