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#298326 - 08/07/09 02:08 AM The World and My Place In It
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
I just had a LOOOONG talk with my mom a little while ago about life and my present and future place in it. I'll (probably) be a junior this year in college majoring in Criminal Justice. Simply put, I'm failing in school. I'm on what they call Academic Probation because my grades were so bad the last two years. I don't want things to be that way but the fact of the matter is that I don't want to be in college anyway. I used to love the idea of being in college and whatnot but now that I'm into it the feeling has faded.

My mom of the other hand thinks I'm doing fine in school but wants me to go to nursing school like her and be a nurse because "the world will always need nurses." I thought about it but I decided I didn't want that either. Frankly, I have no freaking idea what I want to do with my life. I certainly don't want to live with my parents forever but I also don't want to waist my time in school when I'm not doing good and I have no passion for it.

I feel like I have no passion for anything. There are things that I like, but nothing that I want to spend my life doing. I have no idea what I want to be. I'm 19 and I know I don't have to have my entire life planned out now but I don't even have an idea of what I want to do. So what the hell am I supposed to do? I want to drop out of college but I don't want to be one of those guys who just couldn't handle it like some people I know. Should I just suck it up and do better in college or what?

I don't know.
Terrick

_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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#298329 - 08/07/09 02:46 AM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: Clockwise]
philistine Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/27/09
Posts: 211
Loc: Oregon
Clockwise (Terrick),

You don't have to decide your entire life right now.

I cannot recommend dropping out, it is really hard to go back.

That piece of paper will make your life a lot easier.

On the other hand it is your life, please make a wise decision.

_________________________
Mike

"No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" - Nietzsche

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#298350 - 08/07/09 10:15 AM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: philistine]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, Terrick.

I agree with Mike - It is your life and your right to choose your destiny.

I am 45 now. It would have been better if I would have finished college but, I did not and I am ok. So, If you decide to wait that is great.

Finding yourself is paramount in my opinion. I do know I almost got totally lost because I was not in touch with a support system so my situation sounds a little different than your own.

Peace,
DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#298373 - 08/07/09 02:18 PM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: DJsport]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Clockwise,

You ended your post with a question so I'll take that as an invitation to give an opinion. My blanket statement would be that practically no one feels good later on about having given up on something even if they hated it at the time. That being said, maybe you've got the wrong major. Even though I love my profession, I was sure as hell not passionate about many of the classes I had to take in college! But I had a thing I loved and was good at so that clearly makes a difference. There's nothing wrong with retooling the education to fit your revised needs or feelings. You said you're not passionate about anything...well is there anything at all you like? computers, books, tv, helping people, sports, music...I mean anything??? With some creative thinking, almost anything can be made into a major and a career.

You didn't say clearly why it was you are failing...is the work too hard or you just don't do it? That's a tough question I know, but you have to know the answer and be honest about that. If the work is just too hard even with lots of work on your part, then that's one thing and that's fine. If it's that you can't get into it and just don't do it, well that's another. If you like to party too much in order to block out all the difficult emotions you may have, well that's again another. Figure out the reason...if it's anything other than the first one I offered, the works too hard, then dropping out now at your age could be one of those moments you look back on later with deep regret.

Ok after all of that, the most important thing is that whatever you decide to do, pursue it with gusto even if you don't always feel that way about it.

I hope I didn't lecture too much. You're very lucky to have a mother that you can talk about these things with.

good luck,

_________________________
the family
the perp

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#298390 - 08/07/09 05:54 PM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: sono]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
.



Edited by Riley (11/04/10 09:33 AM)

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#298398 - 08/07/09 07:11 PM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: Riley]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
I am a firm believer in what we call "gap years". Usually its a year off between high school and university or college. In your case, given that you are 19 Terrick, I suspect that you haven't had a year off. What about asking for a year off with the clear committment to yourself (and Mum) that you will finish something at a later date.

I took a year off in between grade 13 (yes, we had grade 13 then, and I'm showing my age lol) and university and it helped me to decide what direction to take in later years.

You are only young once for a brief period of time. Take the time to experience life a bit and have some fun while doing it. The reality of life will soon find you no matter what you do, so take some time for yourself and live your life to the fullest. The rent bills or mortgage payments, the vet bills, the school fees, food and utilities, real appetizing, not! If you can, I would suggest travelling a bit and seeing a part of the world you don't know anything about. Do something out of the ordinary. And don't forget to have fun while you are at it.

Gawd! I wish I was 19 again.....

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#298418 - 08/07/09 10:24 PM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: Clockwise]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
terrick,

we all struggle with these challenges. one day they show themselves to be closed doors, other days windows of opportunity. as a survivor it is sometimes difficult to see the difference. honor your process; do what you need to do one day, and what you want to do another. things will turn out alright in time, you'll see.

all the best,

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#298443 - 08/08/09 02:19 AM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: Sans Logos]
Charlie24 Offline


Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 562
Terrick, know that your not alone. I have been there my friend and it sucks.

This is my second time at college. I'm struggling with it and yes I feel like I haven't found my passion.

Could you maybe take a break from college.

I did Outward Bound and that was the kick in the butt I needed. You should check out the website and see if it's something your interested in. Just Google Outward Bound. Scholarships are available as well.

For my nutrition degree I'm getting, just fascinated by food and what it does, what's in it.

I guess I just have interests.

What's my real passion.

I've often thought about being a famous singer. Don't know if I have good voice, people have told me I do. Just unsure of how to go about doing it.

Trying to pick something that I have some interest in and like, but will also pay the bills.

Good luck and if you ever wanna talk send me a pm. Happy to listen, help.

Charlie.


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#298468 - 08/08/09 11:01 AM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: Clockwise]
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
Like always, you guys know how to help me feel and think better. I realize that dropping out is not the best idea because I know wouldn't want to go back after being away. I wanted to take that gap year after high school but I figured it would be best to jump right into college. That was a mistake.

I think the problem is that the work is a little too hard for me. My school has a learning center that's always open to help with tests prep and homework but I rarely used it. I should have taken advantage of it. Procrastination is another problem.

I'm not a partier or anything like that. I'm always in class and I do pay attention and take notes. It's just that when I get in front of a test paper everything I learned just flies right out of my head. I forget everything. How can I explain that to my adviser? Or to myself? I feel embarrassed even thinking it to myself. It just sounds like I'm another lazy college kid but I'm not, I'm really not.

_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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#298475 - 08/08/09 12:52 PM Re: The World and My Place In It [Re: Clockwise]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
Hey again,

You are definitely not alone with that issue. Many people do not test well at all. I can guarantee your adviser has some helpful tips on better test taking. In fact, many colleges don't look at SAT scores anymore because so many people are in fact bad test takers. I highly doubt you will be the first person to approach your adviser with this issue.

Several people on here are college professors. They may have some very helpful tips to overcome this.


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