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#298333 - 08/07/09 03:45 AM Re: Therapist - male or female? [Re: M3]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
All of my 7 therapists were men except for my last therapist. My first therapist worked in the student counseling office at Cleveland State University when I attended there in 1986-1990. My 1st wife and I also used him for some marital counseling too. The one thing that was great about my first therapist was how patient that he was, as it took 9 months or more for him to gently coax 80% of my story out of me, as I was so withdrawn and frightened to release the information.

In 1997-98 Mic Hunter was my 4th therapist following 2 different therapists that I saw concurrently in the Denver-area in 1996-97, when I also attended a Wings support group in Lakewood, CO. Unless Dr. Hunter's therapy modality is substantially different for his early recovery patients I am of the opinion that it was good that I had had some previous therapy experience before seeing him in St. Paul right after my 2nd trip to Hazelden, while I was still in outpatient aftercare at Hazelden's Fellowship Hall and living in a nearby "sober" house there.

My next couple of therapists worked at Prescott House in Prescott, AZ. I spent maybe 6 weeks there in the Fall of 1999 before I got tossed-out on my ear for a very unusual reason. They were really unhappy that I had told one of my buddies that I approved of his decision to go inpatient at another rehab center that was close enough to his wife that the two of them together could have benefited from couples therapy that was offered there. I was the only "camper" out of the 28 guys there that approved and 5 minutes after the taxicab left with my buddy and his stuff I was told to hit the road myself. Prescott House is a smaller facility that is much more sensitive to money issues than Hazelden is. And I told $5000/month to follow his heart.

Margie at Centennial Peaks in Louisville, CO was my last therapist and by then I had no problem broaching sexual issues either with her or in the support group that she ran there in-house. Margie wore blue jeans and she was the type of gal that seemed comfortable discussing sexual issues. She was not an intimidating sort of gal, and I got along really well with her. After 6 & 1/2 months of once per week individual therapy and groups sessions, I shook everyone's hand and walked with confidence out into the night, almost 8 years to the day before I found this site.

Based on my own recovery experience I would recommend a male therapist to start, and one who is really patient too.

Mark



Edited by Trucker51 (08/08/09 07:53 PM)
Edit Reason: typos
_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#298343 - 08/07/09 07:37 AM Re: Therapist - male or female? [Re: Trucker51]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Hi guys,

Thanks to the guys who've answered since I last posted in this thread. Trucker51, that is amazing to me that you were able to go to therapy and do all of this work BEFORE finding this site. I don't think of myself as naive (I mean, come on!) but I just couldn't imagine, well I guess I could imagine, what a therapist might say if I had the nerve to bring this up. I thought sexual abuse only happened to very young children, and while there may have been some of that at home, it's the 13 and up part that causes the biggest issues ( I think). anyway I didn't mean to talk about myself. Good on you!

M3 that's quite an interesting point about the orientation of the therapist...hadn't even considered that really.

1islandboy, You made me really laugh as I imagined my grandmother as a therapist...sometime I'll be able to write seriously about her. But in the meantime, a few years ago I remembered something she would say when I was little that I didn't get at the time...it was about her sister-in-law, my great-aunt...these women were both born around 1900 remember...so grandma would say "if she had as many pricks sticking out of her as she had stuck in her, she'd look like a porcupine". couldn't work that out as a kid! So picturing that warm, compassionate person as a therapist would be a good Saturday Night Live skit I think.

this is great guys, THANKS

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#298456 - 08/08/09 07:42 AM Re: Therapist - male or female? [Re: sono]
sono Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
update if anyone's looking:

I have found a therapist and will have my first session in a couple of weeks. For the record it's a male doctor who specializes in this field, so I am feeling very lucky and optimistic indeed! Thanks again for all the thoughts, it really helped me decide what was for me the way to go.

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