Hi again. I posted here a few months ago. One of my brothers in law (my husband's brothers) told me that one of the other brothers (like 9 years older) sexually abused him since he was a child until he was about 18 or 19 or so.
Now I realise the brother in law who is the abuser - whose long term marriage is a sinking ship - paid for blow jobs outside his marriage. Is there a relation between the preference for blow jobs and the fact that he sexually abused his younger brother when he was a teenager?

Does he have a domination or control issue that maybe prevents him from having a normal relationship with his wife?

He has never been in therapy and no-one else in the family knows about the abuse (the abused brother in law confided in me) so no-one has ever suggested therapy to salvage the marriage because none of the other members of the family is even aware there's ever been a problem.
What kind of problem does this brother in law have?

I am not saying paying to get a blow job outside the marriage is wrong, since, according to him, his wife has withheld sex for years and years; I just wonder if sexually abusing his younger brother, paying a hooker for blow jobs and the fact that his wife has withheld sex for years are not all facets of the same problem.

What's your take on this?