Hi, All.

I am not sure if this is the "correct" place for this post.

I identify myself as a gay man who has survivor and has concurred the abuse I experienced when I was a young boy.

So, my question is "what is next"? What do I do next?

I started having "flashbacks" (those dreams/visions of the abuse) that I tried to run away from. My male partner at the time (currently single) and my ex-wife (divorced 20 years) wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with me once they heard the words "sexual abuse" eventhough I was a child at the time. I do have 2 kids that I proudly state I never abused so if my ex-wife wanted me to be away because of any fears she had well R. I never even thought about "kids".

Anyway,

What I struggle with:

Setting limits -
Other men who want my time (I like others only have 24/7 to live within) - other see me getting healthy

I know I spend alot of time here which is good to be here but -

I have lived with others for years - 5 different addresses in the 18 months since I attempted - I have issues with being alone anyway (although since I reimagined my insides-brain)

I have made a mess of my finances - I have creditors calling me 6 times a day - My hours were reduced 2 months ago. I needed to get my own place. I have 4 creditors who are not getting paid and they are angry. I do not like anger or the expression of it. I know they are my debits but what do I do?

Ok, to try to make this simple as possible: My issues as I see them.

1. I am good at asking for help but no sure when (which is why I made the attempt 18 months) but I am here

2. I am in school - love learning - but I am older than most (45 here) - more debt?

3. I dont know what to do with the thoughts of wanting others around - Ok I get horxx, and I like it now

If this is not clear let me know and I will explain.

Thanks for any feedback,

DJ