Texas greetings my brothers.
well, little Pete made some peace with God. After confering with the parish priest twice, and he listning to my doubts about my feelings with God. I read him my post Trusting God No Longer. About my anger towards God & His Mother.
He told me that I had it all wrong. He was there for me. But I didn't know it. But he was there none the less.
Then I read His (Gods) answer to me. This answer came to me one night as I was flashing back to my Ralph and me. I desperately tried to shift my thoughts as I was going deeper into hell again. Well my thoughts had shifted and what I was then into was God's answer to me. I then woke up and wrote down his answer. HE was trying to tell me something. Anyway I just put that on the back burner. Some other time God.
Well, during my (WOR) weekend of recovery, in Georgia, I was in the shame busting phase. I was in tune with the music, it was music that I could understand. It was something that had taken me from the depths of hell. It had taken me to the infinity of the heavens, and to God himself. I made a plea to HIM to please let me to have little Peter back. I made a deal with HIM, that in excahnege for HIM letting me have litle Peter back, that I would give up my compulsine MB, and try to come back to HIM.
So in part of my deal with HIM, I would show more respect towards HIM. So in my trying, little Pete and I went to Mass again today. But this time to get closer to HIM and our parishioners. Litle Pete wanted to try and sit in the middle of a pew. Then there would be parishoners all around us. So we were going to make a bold step, we were actually going to participate in the peace part of the Mass. Which meant that we would have to shake others hand, maybe a hug, and talk back to them the peace greeting.
Well it went well, we were not afraid nor nervous. We are pretty happy with ourselfs. We took a bold step. But God must have been pleased.
Little Pete and big Pete were too. Another importaint step on our road of me "I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the darknress, into the sunlight forever into eternity".
Just maybe there is some real hope for us, and you all too. In our never ending quest to not only find that lost boy, but to find our way from the darkness of shame, guilt, worthlesness and self imposed it's our fault syndrome.
Little Pete is proud of big Pete, another small step. Another step in finding ourselfs.
Heal well my brothers, family members. friends.
Little Pete & big Pete.. but 1 (Irishmoose)
Edited by petercorbett (07/20/09 01:17 AM)
Edit Reason: spelling
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.