What few coping skills I have seem to have vanished. There's so much going on right now, coming from all sides...I feel like I'm drowning. I'm to the point where even the smallest things seem like mountains that I just don't have the strength to attempt to navigate.

Things make no sense, the more I try to figure it out the worse it gets. Then again, I know things about stuff I have no clue about. Things happen that I don't remember doing but I see the after effects. I wanna be in control, not my past..not them. I wanna feel safe somewhere. I'm beginning to doubt that's ever going to happen since I can't seem to escape what's in my head.

Sorry just ramblin, hell even this post makes no sense.

Jesse,

At time in recovery things can seem so confusing and you don't know if you are coming or going. And you have no clue what you need or should do. Talk to your T he maybe be able to help you find some direction. If you have no T then keeep posting and talking to those whom you trust.
Glad to see you post and allow us to see where your at. At times I need to verbalize what I am feeling in order understand where I am at and what my next step should be. instead of keeping it all bottled up.

Mike