It's a good by Bradshaw. I've recently purchased it and will probably read it again soon. It's called "Family Secrets", and it describes exactly the difference between healthy privacy and unhealthy secrets that you are looking for in your post. It's a must read for you.
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journy, though, which can have many successes along the way.
WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009
My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.