This is long. I have tried to edit it down.
I have lately become obsessed about a friend of mine (not sexual, just in keeping a friendship going) . He occasionally calls and says 'Let's work together' I will begin the prep, working hard to begin the process, and then he won't call for maybe a month, and when he does he pretends like that conversation never occured (when we talk about iPods and laptops, I know he is trying to hide something). I try to detach but he keeps pulling me back in.
I am angry about the situation, because it started out as me trying to help him
About a year ago, he stopped contacting me all together for 6 months even though I would write letters such as 'we don't need to talk, please just email response saying you are okay.'
Then suddenly he wanted to be friends again b/c he said he quit medicine and needs help w/ his life. In those 6 months he stopped contacting me, I had detached completely, and then I got involved again damn it.
About about a month ago he calls me with BS re: working together (he has pulled really weird shit like this before in the last 6 months). I said 'are you BSing me?' He said no. I assumed that meant moving back to my city (he knows I would not move and this is the city), which also got me excited. When he pretends he never said these things, it hurts in both regards. I feel very used.
He called me last night re: my b-day, I decided I won't return his calls or email anymore. The b-day thing is also a hellish issue for me but unrelated to this. Up to now, I tried to be a bigger person by return his emails when he doesn't respond to mine for ex
Without my family and without him, I am essentially alone in the world (I am not being dramatic here, I have no other friends) Luckily I am not without my family (I don't talk to my sister anymore, but my mother is there for me), so I can handle us becoming totally BS friends I think. I try to be the bigger person, but I quit the prep work I was doing (I never needed the job, he did), stopped feeling like if I had done more maybe we'd be better friends, quit returning email + phone calls at least for a little while, and am trying to make some new friends that live near me ( I doubt that will be succesful).
I am scared of being w/o friends. However, I read a book about how relationships can become toxic, and I think this one has. What irritates me the most now is not that I am not involved in his life or we can't hang out together, it is that I am probably way more obsessed about this than he is.
I wish I knew of a way to shed this whole thing.