It can be a confusing experience dealing with sex for anyone let alone when a couple is handling such an emotionally charged issue as physical intimacy. Mark and Sedanman are very right in their advice. I will only add that, if you can, try not to take the lack of sex or the quality of it (right now) personally if you can. One of the best books I've read on this subject is "If the Man You Love was Abused" by Browne and Browne.
Supporting someone through recovery is not easy and it can feel like the ground is always shifting. But recovery is possible! If you are both thinking of seeking a therapist, then that is a good thing. But you might want to consider keeping couples therapy different from your fiance pursuing indivdiual therapy with someone well versed in men's CSA issues. When he chooses to pursue recovery, he will need a safe place all his own to work through the effects of CSA.
Keep coming back to F & F anytime you like; we are here to listen and to offer resource and to share experiences but never to judge.
Female, Friends & Family Forum Fan