this is my first post. I was raped at 7 and surpressed the memory for a long time, only recovering the full memory last year. I ran as far away from my gender as I could to escape from the pain of my rape. The result is I no longer know who I am or how i reconcile my female and male selves into one body. I wonder if anyone else has had this kind of struggle.

Hello and welcome. It is always a bitter-sweet thing for us to welcome a new member while we are glad you have found us we are sad that you need us. We are here for you. You are among friends. I offer you an open ear, an open mind, and an open heart to you in support. Please remember we never ever, but never again have to go it alone.

PM me or group post if I can help. (((safe hug))) if you should want one.

Peace my friend,
Shaun/friendinneed

At the age of four I completely disassociated from my gender and decided that from then on I would be a girl - girls we coddled and appreciated, but more importantly they were cared for. At least that was my experience in a very closed and isolated universe.

I grew up in a boys body but having no relationship to the genitalia that went with that body - I did boy things solely because it was expected of me and that it made life easier for me all the while believing that deep down inside of me, I was a girl.

At fourteen I was able to escape my 'home'. I went as far away from Sudbury as I could get - Vancouver, my heaven. There I immedieatly became socially the girl that I knew that I was. I was she for fourteen years - until she slowly began to kill me to suffocate the life out me, the very life that I thought that I found in her and through her.

After hiding behind the image of her for so many years, I realized one day that I could now function as an adult without the mask of her and I simply left her behind and then walked, shakily, into maleness and ultimate manhood.

It was and still is many ways a tremendous struggle to make my peace with my anatomy and what it represents, but I would not go back or change this for anything.

This is a do-able process - one very small and slow step forward at a time.

Edmonchuk! Wow! Used to live in Oliver, at 116th Street and Jasper. We were on the flight path for planes coming from Calgary. From our apartment, we could see peoples faces in the planes!

Welcome to MS. A place where you can be just you. Take your time, look around, ask questions, even join in the chat if you feel comfy enough. I don't think you'll have any regrets. I don't.

At 116 and Jasper, on the north east corner, there used to be a large convenience store and gas station called the Happy Mart. We called it the Happy Fart. Is it still there?

Welcome again.
Jim

Welcome to the group. We are glad you have found us but sad you needed us. Making that first post to the group is hard I was there as recent as the third of this month. I just wanted you to know that I have gotten such great support and encouragement from everyone here. You are among friends and we care.

Also I offer you an open ear, an open mind and an open heart if you would like the support. Also, if you are comfortable with them (((safe hugs))).

Please remember we never ever, but never again have to go it alone!

Peace my friend,
Shaun/friendinnned

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you are here as will find peace and understanding.

I am very familiar with splitting/disassociating from my gender and those around me. I did it for nearly 40 years.

Thanks for allowing us to get to know you.

Peace,
DJ